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Band 5+: The pie charts compare the proportions of men and women employed in agriculture, industry and services in two different countries in the year 2007.

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The image contains four pie charts illustrating the percentage distribution of males and females working in agriculture, industry, and services for Country A and Country B in 2007. For Country A, males are distributed as follows: agriculture 29%, industry 15%, services 56%. Females in Country A are distributed as: agriculture 49%, industry 8%, services 43%. In Country B, males are distributed as: agriculture 3%, industry 32%, services 65%. Females in Country B are distributed as: agriculture 1%, industry 11%, services 88%.

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The charts compare the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sector between two countries in 2007. Overall, services sector dominates the amount of employees in two countries. Country A employed more males in services whereas country B shows a high number of females employee in services.

Looking at country A, males worker shows more number rather than female worker in services (56%) and industry (15%). On the other hand, agricultures at country A appeared to be a sector which employed more female with 14% amount higher compared to males worker in the same sector.

Country B experienced females worker dominates the service sector at 88% compared to males worker in the same sector with only 65%. Eventhough females worker surpassed the amount of males worker in services, males employee still shows a significant proportion in agricultures and industry sector reaching 3% and 32% respectively. While female employee made up smaller proportions in industry sector at 11% and agricultures with only 1%.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

males: 7

sector: 7

worker: 7

females: 4

services: 4

country: 4

amount: 3

shows: 3

employee: 3

female: 3

industry: 3

agricultures: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by comparing the proportions of men and women employed in different sectors across two countries. The overview is present and highlights the main trends. The report could be improved by providing more specific data comparisons and avoiding some minor inaccuracies. For example, in the second paragraph, the difference in agriculture is miscalculated (49-29=20, not 14). Also, the final sentence could be more precise by stating that males dominate in industry, not agriculture. Overall, the report is well-organized and presents a clear picture of the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate overview, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases could enhance the connections between sentences and paragraphs. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms to describe the data and avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'amount' or 'number,' consider alternatives like 'proportion,' 'percentage,' or 'figure.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and ensure that punctuation is used accurately. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully can help reduce these errors.

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Band 5+: The pie charts compare the proportions of men and women employed in agriculture, industry and services in two different countries in the year 2007.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie charts compare the proportions of men and women employed in agriculture, industry and services in two different countries in the year 2007.

The pie charts compare the proportions of men and women employed in agriculture, industry and services in two different countries in the year 2007.

The pie charts compare the proportions of men and women employed in agriculture, industry and services in two different countries in the year 2007.

The pie charts compare the proportions of men and women employed in agriculture, industry and services in two different countries in the year 2007.

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Writing task 1 The graph below shows the viewership of different TV programs among three different age groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Writing task 1 The graph below shows the viewership of different TV programs among three different age groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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