Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts illustrate leisure time between boys and girls

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The image shows two pie charts: the first details boys' cultural and leisure activities, with reading at 2%, computer games at 34%, skateboarding at 11%, listening to music at 10%, soccer at 17%, and basketball at 26%; the second details girls' cultural and leisure activities, with reading at 21%, computer games at 16%, netball at 15%, listening to music at 10%, gymnastics at 20%, and dancing at 27%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts demonstrate the result of a survey activities between boys and girls. The data calibrated in percentage.

Overall, computer games are the most useful activities by boys, while, dancing is preferred by girls. In contras the percentage of reading by boys has a low level, similarly, listening to music by girls decreased. Listening to music has equal support from both genders.

The most noticeable feature is computer games, which has the highest percentage of activities, almost 34%. Then, followed by basketball at 26%. Soccer, listening to music accounted for 17%, 10% of activities, respectively. While the activities of skateboarding accounted for 11%, that of reading has a lowest point about 3%.

Meanwhile, if we look at the percentage of girls dancing, it reaching around 27%. Gymnastics and reading, accounted for 32% collectively. While netail and computer games accounted for 15% and 16% of activities by girls, respectively. Listening to music has a lowest point reaching around 10% of the total portion.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

activities: 6

girls: 5

listening: 4

music: 4

accounted: 4

computer: 3

games: 3

while: 3

percentage: 3

reading: 3

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Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides relevant data. However, there are some areas for improvement. The organization could be enhanced by grouping similar activities or comparing corresponding activities between boys and girls more directly. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to improve clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical progression of information. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to group related ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit awkward or could be expressed more concisely. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to describing data and trends to enhance the sophistication of your language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, and while this aids in clarity to some extent, it also limits the expression of more complex ideas. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and experimenting with a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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