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Band 7+: The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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Image for topic: The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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The image displays a bar graph representing the percentage of workforce in 1989 and 2009 in six industries: Tourism, Education, Health care, Retail, Manufacturing, and Construction. In 1989, Tourism had 5.5%, Education 7.5%, Health care 7.3%, Retail 7.0%, Manufacturing 15.9%, and Construction 11%. In 2009, Tourism increased to 6.7%, Education to 8.3%, Health care to 11%, Retail to 10%, Manufacturing decreased to 10%, and Construction to 9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the proportion of employees in six industries – manufacturing, retail, health care, construction, education, tourism – in Australia in 1989 and 2009.

Overall, manufacturing led the the list in the first given year (1989), but it was replaced with health care which had the highest percentage in final year – 2009. Additionally, figures for manufacturing and retail declined, while all the others experienced growth over the period.

In 1989, manufacturing employed the highest percentage of the workforce at 15%, but this figure dropped dramatically to 9.8% in 2009. Similarly, the proportion of workers in retail fell slightly from 11.8% to 10.1% over the same period.

By contrast, employment in health care sector increased from 9.6% in 1989 to 11.3%, making it the highest percentage in 2009. Followed next by construction, which saw a mere rise from 7.6% to 8.3%. Education and tourism had almost same indicators in final year growing from 6.8% and 5.5% to 7.5% and 7.3% in 2009 respectively.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

manufacturing: 4

retail: 3

health: 3

highest: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the graph, providing a generally clear overview of the changes in workforce percentages across the six industries. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the level of detail could be improved to fully satisfy the task requirements. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider including more specific comparisons or details to enhance the analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and supporting paragraphs. However, there are some minor inconsistencies in the data presented compared to the visual description, which could slightly affect coherence. For example, the report mentions a decline in retail, but the numbers provided (11.8% to 10.1%) don't match the visual description (7.0% to 10%). Ensure all data cited is accurate. Also, the phrase "Followed next by construction" could be smoother; consider "Construction followed with a slight increase..."

Lexical Resource

A good range of vocabulary is used, such as 'proportion,' 'dramatically,' and 'mere rise.' However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language. For instance, instead of 'had almost same indicators,' you could use 'exhibited similar growth patterns.' Varying your vocabulary further will improve this aspect.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are a few errors that need attention. For example, 'manufacturing led the the list' should be 'manufacturing led the list.' Also, check for subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage throughout the report. Pay close attention to prepositions and articles for improved accuracy.

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Band 7+: The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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The chart below shows the percentage of UK households with selected consumer durables between 1998 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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