Table

Band 7+: The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a table with three columns and six rows, showcasing the percentage of female employees in different jobs for the years 1994 and 2003, as well as the percentage of change between these years; costume designer: 1994 (74.2%), 2003 (76.1%), change (2.5%); producer: 1994 (15.6%), 2003 (10.3%), change (-34.0%); editor: 1994 (11.4%), 2003 (14.0%), change (22.8%); director: 1994 (5.0%), 2003 (3.0%), change (-40.0%); writer: 1994 (10.0%), 2003 (12.0%), change (20.0%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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A glance at the graph illustrates information about the percentage of female employees in multifarious jobs during a 9-year period starting in 1994.

There are two evident trends visible. Recruitment of female costume designers, editors and writers experienced an increase in percentage. The number of costume designers, with minimum rise, grew by 2.5 percent compared to 74.2 percent in 1994. Followed by percentage of female writer and editor, escalated by 20 percent and 22.8 percent respectively.

On the contrary, the employment of female directors and producers, remained at trough and further plummeted to a lower level. The percentage of female directors, with maximum decrease, diminished from 5 percent in 1994 to 3 percent in 2003. Subsequently, the proportion of female producers was 34 percent lower than the proportion in 1994.

In a nutshell, with the exception of the proportion of female producers and directors, the percentage of female costume designers, editors and writers generally went up, with large alternation in the number of producers and directors.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

female: 8

percent: 7

percentage: 5

directors: 4

producers: 4

costume: 3

designers: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the information about female employment positions in Hollywood. It identifies the main trends and makes relevant comparisons. The language is generally accurate and appropriate. To further improve, consider providing more specific data points to support your claims and enhance the overall impact of the summary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, but there are some areas where coherence could be improved. The introduction provides a good overview. The body paragraphs effectively group the data into increasing and decreasing trends. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother in some places. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between the first and second sentences could be strengthened. The conclusion summarizes the main trends, but the phrase 'large alternation' is not very clear and could be rephrased for better understanding.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including words like 'multifarious,' 'escalated,' 'plummeted,' and 'diminished.' However, some word choices could be more precise. For instance, 'remained at trough' is not the most accurate way to describe the trend for directors and producers. Consider using more specific vocabulary related to employment trends, such as 'declined' or 'decreased significantly.' Also, avoid using the word 'number' when you mean 'percentage'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, 'Followed by percentage of female writer and editor, escalated by 20 percent and 22.8 percent respectively' is grammatically incorrect. It should be revised to something like 'The percentages of female writers and editors increased by 20 percent and 22.8 percent, respectively.' Similarly, in the third paragraph, 'remained at trough and further plummeted to a lower level' could be phrased more accurately. Pay close attention to sentence structure and subject-verb agreement to improve grammatical accuracy.

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Band 7+: The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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