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Band 4+: the table shows the number of jobs in tourist-realted industies in one UK city

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The image indicates job numbers in four tourism-related sectors from 1989-2009 in one UK city: 1989 shows Restaurants 1100, Hotels 1000, Sport and leisure 800, Travel and tours 300; 1994 shows Restaurants 1300, Hotels 1400, Sport and leisure 1000, Travel and tours 400; 1999 shows Restaurants 1600, Hotels 1000, Sport and leisure 800, Travel and tours 600; 2004 shows Restaurants 1200, Hotels 1100, Sport and leisure 1000, Travel and tours 900; 2009 shows Restaurants 1400, Hotels 700, Sport and leisure 900, Travel and tours 600.

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The illustration under depicts thenumber of jobs in UK city related to tourism industries from 1989 and 2009.

Overall, the highst job was resturants in 2004 by 1500 and hotels had it peak in 1400 before gradually declining by the year as sport and leistare decreased in 1994 and then rised years after copnes next was travel and tours, they were high in 1994 before declining again the following years.

In terms of Resturants, it is had a constint increase throughout the years except in 1994 were it was overtaken by Hotels approximatly 200 more but rather remained high after. Hotels were the second highst of them all, it was the highest in1994 before declining just a little beyond Resturantes.

The final two lower then the above jobs were sports and leistare job that was above 800 before it peaked in 1999 above travel and tours by nearly 1050. Travel and tours remained remained constant at the higst rate of 1050 in 1994 before it decreased in 2009 by less than 600.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

before: 5

hotels: 3

declining: 3

travel: 3

tours: 3

remained: 3

above: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The organization is present but could be improved. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data and clearer descriptions of trends. Also, ensure that the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The overall structure is weak, making it difficult to follow the main trends and specific details from the table. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate different aspects of the data. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a specific trend or category, and a concise conclusion. Use cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, pronouns) to link ideas and sentences together smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains inaccuracies ('highst' instead of 'highest', 'resturants' instead of 'restaurants', 'leistare' instead of 'leisure', 'copnes' is unclear). There is a lack of precision in describing the data, which affects the clarity of the report. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., increase, decrease, fluctuate, peak, decline) and quantities (e.g., approximately, significantly, slightly). Ensure accurate spelling and word choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also used inconsistently. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly and paying attention to basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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