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Band 4+: The tables below give information on sales of two types of smartphones in six countries in 2012 and 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The tables below give information on sales of two types of smartphones in six countries in 2012 and 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image provides two tables on sales of smartphones for 2012 and 2022 in six countries, with values in millions of Canadian Dollars. For the iPhone, 2012 sales were: Germany 4.6, Japan 8.9, New Zealand 1.4, Canada 6.8, Ireland 0.8, and Thailand 7.4. In 2022, iPhone sales were: Germany 12.4, Japan 21.9, New Zealand 18, Canada 41.7, Ireland 3.4, and Thailand 29.5. For the Galaxy, 2012 sales were: Germany 3.1, Japan 10.8, New Zealand 0.8, Canada 4.3, Ireland 0.6, and Thailand 8.9. In 2022, Galaxy sales were: Germany 18.4, Japan 32.7, New Zealand 14.2, Canada 29.7, Ireland 4.1, and Thailand 24.6.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The tables below ilustrate sales of two types of smartphones in six different countries in years 2012 and 2022.

We can see that the sales of the Iphone significantly increased during this few years, especially in countries such as Japan,Canada and Thailand. On the other hand we can see that during this 1 years in countries such as Germany and Ireland the sale of the Iphone slightly increased compered to others. The tables also ilustrate that past few years the sales in New Zealand remain slightly unchanged. We can’t see any rapid change.

We can also compare the changes in sales during this 10 years but with as much popular Galaxy. There was a dramatic growths of sales in Galaxy phones in sych countries like Japan and Canada. However we can’t see the same huge changes in Ireland as well. In Germany there was steadily rise of sales as well.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 6

years: 5

countries: 4

during: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by mentioning both smartphone types and several countries, but it lacks a clear overview and a structured presentation of data. The response is somewhat repetitive and fails to provide specific numerical data to support the descriptions of growth or stability. To improve, ensure that you include key figures from the tables to substantiate your claims and organize the report into logical paragraphs: an introduction, a clear overview of main trends, and detailed body paragraphs that compare the two products and the different countries effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. The use of 'We can see' and 'We can also' is quite repetitive and informal for an academic report. To improve, try to use more varied transition signals (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Regarding,' 'With respect to') and avoid using personal pronouns like 'we' to maintain an objective, academic tone. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'ilustrate', 'compered', 'sych'). There is also some imprecise word choice, such as 'this few years' or 'this 1 years'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for a wider range of academic vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'surged', 'escalated', 'marginal increase', 'plateaued') and ensure that spelling is accurate. Avoid informal expressions like 'huge changes'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('There was a dramatic growths'), incorrect noun forms ('this 1 years'), and improper use of adjectives/adverbs ('steadily rise' instead of 'steady rise'). The sentence structures are mostly simple. To improve, practice using a mix of complex and compound sentence structures and pay close attention to the correct usage of articles and singular/plural forms.

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Band 4+: The tables below give information on sales of two types of smartphones in six countries in 2012 and 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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