Pie Chart

Band 4+: The two pie charts below show the percentage of the industry sector's contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The two pie charts below show the percentage of the industry sector's contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts titled 'Contribution to the economy of Turkey by sector' for 2000 and 2016. In 2000, the percentages were: Agriculture 24%, Government 12%, Leisure and Hospitality 17%, Finance, Business and Other 5%, Healthcare and Education 17%, Trade, Utilities and Transportation 14%, Manufacturing 8%, and Construction 3%. In 2016, the percentages were: Agriculture 14%, Government 9%, Leisure and Hospitality 14%, Finance, Business and Other 8%, Healthcare and Education 17%, Trade, Utilities and Transportation 16%, Manufacturing 12%, and Construction 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie chart illustrates the proportion of turkey industry who epically contribute to the economy during 2000 to 2016.

Looking from an overrall perspective it is readily apparent that notably agricultural sector one of the highest proportion which was showed a noticeable expansion than other. While , construction , manufacturing and finance business and other witnessed a lower percentage. In addition , other sector remained relatively stable with narrow changes .

In 2000, the agriculture sector accounted for approximately 24% while the figure was steadily decreased by 3%in the field of construction . While , the manufacture industry was assist to economy made up by 8%.whilst, the trade and transportation,government and finance business and other demonstrated a lowest proportion 5%,12% and 14% respectively . Whereas, in the field of healthcare and education and leisure and hospitality was contribute to economy with no changes and remained constant .

In 2016,the healthcare and eduction sector undergo a highest proportion by 17% and 16% . Afterwards , the figure was unchanged and remained stable with the contribution in the died if leisure and hospitality and agriculture. At last construction , manufacturing , government and finance business and other assign by 9%, 10% , 12%,and 8%.

Word Count: 203

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

other: 5

proportion: 4

sector: 4

economy: 3

while: 3

construction: 3

finance: 3

business: 3

remained: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by mentioning various sectors and years, but it struggles to present a clear or accurate overview of the data. There are significant issues with data interpretation; for example, the report claims the agricultural sector showed a 'noticeable expansion,' whereas the data actually shows a significant decrease from 24% to 14%. Additionally, the grouping of figures and the use of comparative language are often confusing or mathematically incorrect. To improve, focus on accurately identifying trends (increases vs. decreases) and ensure that the relationship between the numbers is described logically. Practicing sentence structures for comparison (e.g., 'increased from X to Y' or 'remained stable at X') will help improve clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression is frequently interrupted by incorrect punctuation and misused cohesive devices. For example, words like 'While', 'Whereas', and 'Afterwards' are often used at the start of sentences that are not grammatically complete or do not logically follow the previous thought. To improve, ensure that transition words are used to connect two related ideas within a sentence or to signal a clear shift in topic. Avoid starting sentences with 'While' or 'Whereas' unless they are part of a complex sentence structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which occasionally obscures the meaning. There are several instances of word choice errors (e.g., 'epically contribute', 'the manufacture industry was assist to economy', 'in the died if'). To improve, focus on learning precise collocations used in data description, such as 'accounted for', 'represented', 'constituted', or 'comprised'. Work on using more accurate verbs to describe changes, such as 'increased', 'decreased', 'remained stable', or 'fluctuated'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the readability of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence structure (many fragments and run-on sentences). For instance, 'The two pie chart illustrates' should be 'The two pie charts illustrate'. To improve, practice constructing simple and complex sentences accurately. Pay close attention to the use of articles (a, an, the) and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb.

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