Letter

Band 5+: you and your family have just come back from a holiday staying in a rented apartment overlooking the sea. The apartment was very unsatisfactory. Write a letter of complaint to the manager of the agency from which you rented the apartment. In your letter, - give details of the things that were unsatisfactory - explain the reactions of the members of your family - ask the manager what he/she is going to do about the situation

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I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my frustration towards services. My family and I have experienced so many disappointing things in your apartment.

To provide clarity, my family and I were completely tired after we came back from work then we all went to sleep. Then suddenly the light goes off. We all got frustrated because we paid well for this apartment, but due to the light problem, we all woke up in the mid night and started looking to find the main cause of the problem then we found it was the old electric meter and wires with crust on it. Which was so disappointed for us, where we realized it’s worthless value as we paid a lot of money for this but it was totally worthless.

Additionally, this apartment was on the top floor. Although, it gave us a beautiful view of sea but it’s ceiling was dripping because of having close to the sea there was a lot of rain which was causing its ceiling to drip. At this time we had no other option to move and we have to stayed there for whole night in wet area. which was extremely bad experience for my family and me.

As a result, we are expecting to get the ceiling and electric meter work done as soon as possible as its gonna make us sick, and also there will be a chance to have flies and insects due to the water. It already ruined our stuff beacuse of driping water.

Taking my concern into consideration, kindly give me total refund as a compensation as it didn’t meet our expectations, and also we were highly recommended for this apartment by our relatives and friends. Its totaly went opposite to their reviews.

I look forward to your response, and hope you will take my concern as a priority, also will consider it as a serious concern.

Thank you

warm regard,

Anu Rani Thakur

Word Count: 329

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

family: 3

apartment: 3

which: 3

ceiling: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by detailing the unsatisfactory aspects of the apartment, explaining the family's reactions, and asking what the manager will do. There are some areas where the language could be more precise and the organization slightly improved. For instance, the letter could benefit from a clearer structure, perhaps by dedicating a paragraph to each specific complaint and its impact. Also, refining the tone to be more formal and professional would enhance the letter's effectiveness. For example, instead of saying "we all got frustrated," you could say "we were all very disappointed." Overall, the letter is well-written and fulfills the requirements of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The issues are presented, but the flow between them feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your complaints. For example, you could start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the specific issue you will be discussing. Also, the conclusion could be more concise and direct in stating your desired outcome.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'disappointed' or 'frustrated,' try synonyms like 'dissatisfied,' 'aggrieved,' or 'dismayed.' Also, be mindful of word choice to ensure it accurately reflects the intensity of your feelings and the severity of the problems encountered.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, 'light goes off' should be 'light went off' or 'light went out.' Also, the use of articles (a, an, the) could be improved. Review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully to minimize these errors. Pay attention to sentence structure to ensure your writing is clear and easy to understand.

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Lexical Resource

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