Letter

Band 4+: You are a member of a local sports club. The club has recently become very crowded, and you are unhappy with the situation. Write a letter to the club manager complaining about the overcrowding. In your letter: describe the problem in detail; explain how it affects your enjoyment of the club; propose a solution to the problem.

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Dear Sir Adam,

I writing this letter to express dissatisfuction that I have join as member and the list in your gym.

Looking at the details, your fitness place is the best in that city with the complate equipment and near from my home. In addition, this gym also have good community to doing work out together.

On the other hand, the equipement is not clean there is dust in everywhere that makes me sneeze all the time I have been there and windows always close make me feel stuffy.In additional, the list is collide with my job in Monday so I never attend in that day

I would appreciate if you could told your customer service for clean the equipment at least twice in a weeks because is hard for me to focus because is not cozy for me. In addition, hopefully you could changes the list in Sunday to FrIday and the window might be open so air will come in there.

Kind regards,

Aso.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the main task requirements: it explains why you joined, describes problems with facilities and schedule, and suggests solutions. However, there are several inaccuracies and unclear points that detract from the overall effectiveness. For example, the phrase 'the list in your gym' is confusing, and the schedule problem is only vaguely described as 'collide with my job in Monday.' Additionally, the suggestion to change the schedule to 'Sunday to Friday' is unclear. To improve, ensure each point is clearly and accurately expressed, and proofread for grammatical errors and word choice (e.g., 'dissatisfuction' should be 'dissatisfaction', 'equipement' should be 'equipment'). Also, use a more formal and polite tone throughout, and make sure the letter is well-structured with clear paragraphs for each requirement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is disrupted by frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The message can be followed with effort, but cohesion is weak due to unclear references (e.g., 'the list' instead of 'the class schedule') and abrupt transitions. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and link ideas with cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Moreover'. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea: why you joined, the problems, and the solutions.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'dissatisfuction' for 'dissatisfaction', 'complate' for 'complete', 'list' for 'schedule'). There is an attempt to use descriptive language (e.g., 'dust in everywhere', 'stuffy'), but it lacks precision and range. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to fitness clubs (e.g., 'facilities', 'hygiene', 'ventilation', 'timetable') and use more specific terms. Also, proofread to avoid spelling errors that affect clarity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('I writing' should be 'I am writing'), subject-verb agreement ('this gym also have' should be 'this gym also has'), and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is often missing or misused, and sentence structures are mostly simple and repetitive. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with 'because', 'although', 'if') and review basic grammar rules. Pay attention to articles, prepositions, and word order. Proofreading is essential to reduce errors.

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