Letter

Band 5+: You are applying for a scholarship to study abroad. Write a letter to the scholarship committee applying for the award. You should include details about: - which course and country you wish to study in - why you deserve the scholarship - your academic achievements and future plans.

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Dear sir/madam

I am writing to apply for the schorlarship award to support my studies arbroad.

I would like to pursue a bachelors in health records and information technology in Australia.I chose this country and course because Astralia has the leading universities and research facilities in global health, and the program aligns directly with my career goal of improving health in my county Kenya.

I beleive I deserve the scholarship because of my committment to academics and community service.Throughout my undergraduate service, I maintained a GPA of 4 and graduated with first class honors from my school.In addition I have volounteered for 2 years in a Siaya county hospital.

In academic achievements I received deans award for academic excellence and completed a reseaarch project on impacts of alcohol on HIV patients.I hope to establish a community health initiative that trains local health workers.

I look forward to a positive response.

yours faithfully,

beryl jemutai chesire.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

health: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter covers all required points: course/country, reasons for deserving the scholarship, and academic achievements/future plans. However, there are minor omissions (e.g., no mention of specific future plans beyond a general initiative) and some spelling/grammar errors (e.g., 'schorlarship', 'arbroad', 'Astralia', 'beleive', 'committment', 'volounteered', 'reseaarch'). To improve, proofread carefully and provide more specific details about future plans.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each required detail. However, cohesion is sometimes weak due to abrupt transitions and missing linking words. For example, 'In addition I have volunteered...' could be better connected to the previous sentence. Also, the closing is abrupt. Use more cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'Consequently' to improve flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but contains several errors and informal choices. Words like 'schorlarship', 'arbroad', 'Astralia', 'beleive', 'committment', 'volounteered', 'reseaarch', and 'deans award' are misspelled. 'County' should be 'country' in one instance. Use more precise and formal vocabulary, e.g., 'pursue a Bachelor's degree', 'aligns with', 'demonstrate commitment', 'volunteered', 'research project'. Avoid informal phrases like 'I hope to establish' - consider 'I intend to establish'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues. The salutation lacks a comma: 'Dear sir/madam,'. 'Bachelors' should be 'Bachelor's'. 'In addition I have' needs a comma after 'addition'. 'I received deans award' should be 'I received the Dean's award'. 'Impacts of alcohol on HIV patients' is awkward - consider 'the impact of alcohol on HIV patients'. The closing 'yours faithfully' should be 'Yours faithfully' with capital letters. Use a wider range of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with subordinate clauses.

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Band 5+: You are applying for a scholarship to study abroad. Write a letter to the scholarship committee applying for the award. You should include details about: - which course and country you wish to study in - why you deserve the scholarship - your academic achievements and future plans.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You are applying for a scholarship to study abroad. Write a letter to the scholarship committee applying for the award. You should include details about: – which course and country you wish to study in – why you deserve the scholarship – your academic achievements and future plans.

You are applying for a scholarship to study abroad. Write a letter to the scholarship committee applying for the award. You should include details about: – which course and country you wish to study in – why you deserve the scholarship – your academic achievements and future plans.

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