Letter

Band 5+: You are going to study in a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in a college Hall of Residence. Write a letter to the college. In your letter explain your accommodation requirements explain what your food needs are ask what alternatives are available if they cannot provide what you want You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope this message finds you in good spirit. I am writing this letter to express my desires for an accommodation and needs for meals. As I have been already enrolled in Early childhood education course for an upcoming batch, so I decided to arrive before december to adjust myself quick.

Additionally, as an international student, it is really hard to manage expenses in early year of college and I also do not know anybody in the UK who can assist me throughout study. Hence, I am requesting to find a roommate for me, whom I can share room, however, a person should be hygenic because I cannot afford to be sick.

Moreover, I want to mention that I am allergic from red meat, so I avoid to consume meat, if you could provide me spacial meal, I would be grateful. I also request to please arrange a fan in the room because I feel very suffocated without a ventilation.

I would really appreciate if you would find a perfect roommate and accomplish my requirements. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Gagan Nehal

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, outlining accommodation and food needs. There are a few minor areas for improvement. For instance, the request for a roommate could be phrased more formally. Also, while the letter is generally clear, refining sentence structure in a few places would enhance readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally organized, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and ensure a smoother reading experience. For example, in the second paragraph, you could add a sentence to introduce the purpose of the paragraph. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. Try to incorporate more specific and descriptive words to make your writing more engaging. For instance, instead of 'hygenic,' you could use 'someone who maintains a high standard of cleanliness.' Also, be mindful of using the correct register for a formal letter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct article usage. For example, 'I avoid to consume meat' should be 'I avoid consuming meat.' Review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully to minimize errors. Also, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and fluency of your writing.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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