Letter

Band 5+: You are organizing a fundraising gala for a local charity and want to invite potential donors and supporters. Write a letter to potential donors inviting them to the gala. You should include details about: - the charity's mission and the gala's purpose - the date, time, and location of the gala - how their attendance and contributions will help the charity.

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Dear Sir Emman,

I am writing this letter as an invitation for the upcoming fundraising event that will benefit many street children.

The charity’s mission is to collect enough funds that will be used to feed street children. This event will bring awareness to the public that even though the Philippines is a progressive country, There are still many children that are homeless and does not have the capacity to feed themselves.

The scheduled date is May 15, 2025 at 8:00 pm Resorts world Manila function hall located at Scout borromeo street, corner 15th avenue Quezon City. The event is scheduled in pm time because we want to cater many visitors for this event, Many people are free form their jobs within this timeframe resulting into many visitors that can attend.

Your attendance and contribution will give a boost of morale and will be more benefical for these children the we’ ve choose to become the beneficiary. We believe that these children will be the future of our country so we tend to nuture them by these simply things.

Faithfully,

Koleun

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

event: 4

children: 4

street: 3

these: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by inviting potential donors to a fundraising gala and including the charity's mission, gala details, and the impact of their contributions. To improve, provide more specific details about the charity's work and the gala's activities. Also, refine the tone to be more persuasive and professional.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter generally conveys the purpose of the gala and its importance. However, the organization of ideas could be improved for better flow. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs and between them. For example, in the second paragraph, you could add a sentence that smoothly transitions from the charity's mission to the event's purpose. In the third paragraph, the reasoning for the event's timing could be more concisely stated to maintain focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more precise and varied word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'event,' you could use synonyms like 'gala,' 'fundraiser,' or 'celebration' to add richness to your writing. Also, consider using more descriptive language to convey the impact of the charity's work and the significance of the gala.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper sentence structure. For example, in the second paragraph, 'There are still many children that are homeless and does not have the capacity to feed themselves' could be revised for better grammatical accuracy and clarity. Proofreading carefully and seeking feedback can help improve grammatical accuracy.

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