Letter

Band 5+: You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice You should write at least 150 words.

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Dear Mr.Rasooli,

I hope your finds this letter well. This is Russe the member of the Jazz band musician.I am writing this letter to express my concern about having practice in the community hall. However, we were told, to have not the opportunity for practice any more.

It has been one year that I and my members have studied in this hall. we have some practice on Tuesday and Friday evenings.

As our main focus was to practice and learn some new instrument it was benefial for all the members of the group especially those who have jobs due to providing money for their family and instead of wasting their time in some other useless work they joint to this group and follow their dreams. Therefore, it is crucial for the people who residence here and engage in usefull team.

As far as I know the hall is not availabel for the time we did our pactice. Therefore I kindly request to continue our session in any alternative time that the hall is free. like on saturday and sunday evening.

Thank you for your always understanding. I look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully,

Russe Adams

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

practice: 4

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, describing the group's activities, explaining the benefits to the community, and suggesting alternative times. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but the overall message is clear. To improve, focus on using more precise language and proofreading for grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is generally clear, but some sentences feel disjointed, impacting the flow. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and use transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. For example, clearly link the description of the group's activities to its benefit to the community.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but lacks sophistication. To enhance lexical resource, try to use more precise and varied vocabulary related to music, community benefits, and scheduling. For instance, instead of 'useless work,' consider 'unproductive activities' or 'less enriching pursuits.' Also, replace 'beneficial' with stronger synonyms like 'advantageous' or 'valuable'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'I hope your finds this letter well' should be 'I hope this letter finds you well.' Also, pay attention to punctuation, especially commas and apostrophes, to avoid ambiguity.

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