Letter

Band 5+: You are planning a surprise birthday party for a mutual friend with another friend, but you are facing some unexpected challenges. Write a letter to the other friend involved in planning the party. You should include: - What challenges you are experiencing. - Your suggestions for overcoming these challenges. - A proposal to change the date or venue.

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Dear friend,

I hope this message finds you in good health. My favourite Bunny, the purpose to write this letter to you to talk about a surprise birthday party for our beloved friend, Jam. Some ideas were presented to you by me, however that weren’t accepted. Therefore, I have changed my mind to go for that.

My first ideas was to buy some firworks and crackers, and use right at 12am infront his house. The second ideas was, to put the birthday cake his face, as soon as he opens the door. I think, he will like it, because he did the same doing with me when you were out of statation last month. There should be tit for tat obviously, and in my eyes these ideas are suitable to teach him a lesson. But unfortunately you are going against my plans.

It is ok to change our minds for something else rather than clashing unnecessarily that is causing trouble. Instead, we can do something new to please him. I hope you will understand the situation, and catch me up soon.

With best wishes,

Sammy

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

ideas: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by describing ideas, explaining their suitability (though the reasoning might be questionable), and suggesting a compromise. However, the tone and some of the language used are not entirely appropriate for a letter to a friend, and the ideas presented might be considered immature or even hostile. The letter includes some irrelevant or inappropriate information, such as the desire to 'teach him a lesson,' which detracts from the overall task achievement. To improve, focus on using more tactful and friendly language, and suggest party ideas that are genuinely celebratory and considerate of the friend's feelings. Also, ensure that the compromise is clearly articulated and reasonable.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas could be smoother. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your points. For example, you could use phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'However,' and 'In contrast' to connect your ideas more logically. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the range needed to express ideas effectively. To improve, try to incorporate more varied and precise language. For instance, instead of 'good health,' you could say 'high spirits.' Instead of 'talk about,' consider 'discuss' or 'plan.' Expanding your vocabulary will help you convey your message more clearly and engagingly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving your sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'My first ideas was' should be 'My first idea was,' and 'infront his house' should be 'in front of his house.' Proofreading carefully and practicing grammar exercises can help reduce these errors.

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