Letter

Band 4+: You are planning a team-building event for your department at work and need to make arrangements with a local adventure company. Write a letter to the adventure company outlining your needs and requesting information. You should include details about: -the number of participants and their preferences -possible dates and times for the event -catering options and costs involved.

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Good morning event manager

This mail find you well.i am writing this mail to bring your attention to arrange team building event for our department.As we know our company get Adnoc hail and ghasa dubai project.and the deadline of this project is only 9 months which is very less as compared to our resources and manpowers. So i request to arrange an event for our teams to discuss about how we initiate and execute our project in order to match with deadline.without facing any issues like quality,and time.so as per my suggestion you should book any hall and resturant on 3 may 2025 at 6pm to 10 Pm. Where you also arrange dinner for our teams and also arrange Bus and ola service for drop our teams safely at their homes.also arrange projector and some monitor.

I hope u will arrange all the necessary things very well.

Thanks and regards

Zeeshan

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

arrange: 6

event: 3

teams: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant information about the project's details and deadlines, which detracts from the task achievement. The letter should focus more on the specific requirements for the team-building event, such as the activities and facilities needed. To improve, concentrate on directly addressing each of the bullet points in the task instructions with clear and relevant details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization could be improved for better clarity. Consider using more formal paragraphing and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your requests. For example, clearly separate the introduction, the details of the event (date, time, activities), and the list of required equipment. Avoid including background information about the project deadline, as it detracts from the main purpose of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed for a formal letter. Incorporate more specific and professional language related to event planning. For instance, instead of 'arrange all the necessary things,' try 'coordinate the required arrangements.' Also, use more formal terms like 'transportation services' instead of 'Bus and ola service.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that impede understanding. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'This mail find you well' should be 'I hope this email finds you well.' Proofread carefully to eliminate such errors.

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