Letter

Band 4+: You have seen an advertisement in a newspaper for a job in the museum shop during your holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the museum shop. In your letter, introduce yourself explain what experience and special skills you have explain why you are interested in the job

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Dear Sir or Madam,

Recently I have seen your museum shop opportunity in newspaper. I am willing to join this position and below is my introduction. My name is Mr Jason. Living in New York City almost five years.

In my first career, I worked in another museum based in Canada for five years. During this state, I learned from diverse object such as exhibition, locker, event, stock management and so on. It was me who had ability to control complex mission than find other task to handle. In my previous job, which was photography agency located in new York for five years. I task more than 150ss out party in different field. This experience guided me to find interest perspective in my life. In the end, I resigned my full time job and want to find a part time job in the futures.

When I know this Museum shop has a chance, really want to snatch this offer. The first one is my face skills are fitting to your shop. I believed I can give boosts to company name. Interview this job is so open shifts doing holiday, which felt me need to find a part hose. Las points is this shop warn my rental place If shop need me support emergency mission or flexible shifts, be wit for this job.

I am forward to wait your feedback. If you have chance to interview in the future, you can connect this mail also phone call. My phone number is +63 99297864. Thanks for your attention.

Best regards,

Mr. Jason

Word Count: 260

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

museum: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task by introducing yourself, mentioning some experience, and stating interest in the job. However, the response contains significant irrelevant, inaccurate, or unclear information that detracts from task achievement. For example, the description of your experience is confusing and includes unrelated details (e.g., 'photography agency', '150ss out party'). The reasons for interest are not clearly linked to the museum shop job, and the language is often unclear or inappropriate. To improve, focus on clearly and directly addressing each bullet point: provide a clear introduction, describe relevant experience and skills in a logical way, and explain why you specifically want this job at the City Museum shop. Avoid irrelevant details and ensure your writing is easy to understand.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter attempts to follow a logical structure, but the flow is often disrupted by unclear connections between ideas and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but not always effective, and some sentences are difficult to follow. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea. Use linking words and phrases (e.g., 'firstly', 'in addition', 'moreover') to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inappropriate or unclear (e.g., 'diverse object', 'complex mission', 'snatch this offer'). There are also errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'face skills', 'boosts to company name'). To improve, expand your range of vocabulary related to work and experience, and practice using words in the correct context. Use more precise and natural expressions, such as 'I have experience in managing exhibitions and events' instead of 'I learned from diverse object such as exhibition, locker, event, stock management and so on'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, missing articles, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'Living in New York City almost five years', 'I task more than 150ss out party'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially for tenses and sentence structure. Practice writing complete sentences and proofread your work carefully. Consider using simpler sentence structures to reduce errors.

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