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Letter

Band 6+: You purchased a mobile phone from an online store a week ago, but you've encountered several issues with it since receiving it. Write a letter to the online store's customer service department complaining about the faulty mobile phone. You should mention: - The specific problems you are experiencing with the phone - What steps you have already taken to try and resolve the issues - What you expect the online store to do to rectify the situation

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Customer Service Department,

I am writing this regarding a smartphone that I have had purchased onilne and it turned out that the smartphone arrived as a defective piece. I could clearly notice a few visible scratches on the display as well as in the back camera, due to which the clarity is precisely low.

I have sent my smartphone to a nearby customer service centre to proceed with resolving the defects. I have explained and shown them the whole issue. As far as I know, they will try to replace the parts of the back camera and the new display screen. However, I am sceptical if I would get the same result as a brand new smartphone.

My concern is that I would like to have an exchange of a new smartphone, not the replacement of defective parts, as it is already mentioned in the guarantee and warranty card. Kindly look into this matter and let me know if any further details are required from my end.

With kind regards,

Misa

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

6
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
smartphone: 4
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

7
The letter adequately addresses the task by detailing the defects, steps taken, and desired resolution. However, elaborating further on the specific defects and the warranty terms could strengthen the response. Additionally, directly stating your expectations more assertively would enhance the letter's impact.

Coherence & Cohesion

6
The letter is generally coherent and logically organized, presenting the issue and desired resolution clearly. However, the introduction could be more direct, and the transition between the steps taken and the desired outcome could be smoother. Consider starting with a clear statement of purpose and using transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

6
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'defective,' you could incorporate synonyms like 'faulty' or 'malfunctioning.' Additionally, try to use more specific language when describing the defects and the desired resolution.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, the first sentence has awkward phrasing ('I have had purchased onilne'). There are also issues with article usage ('the smartphone arrived as a defective piece') and sentence structure. Review basic grammar rules and sentence construction to improve accuracy. Pay close attention to verb tenses, articles, and prepositions.

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