Letter

Band 4+: You purchased a mobile phone from an online store a week ago, but you've encountered several issues with it since receiving it. Write a letter to the online store's customer service department complaining about the faulty mobile phone. You should mention: - The specific problems you are experiencing with the phone - What steps you have already taken to try and resolve the issues - What you expect the online store to do to rectify the situation

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Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing for you to express my disappointment while receiving my Iphone that i have brought from your online store.

While trying to settle the mobile,i have noticed that there was a crack on the screen at the bottom,plus I couldn’t set the date and timing.

I think that it has an issue in the system.

As result, i think this is a manufacture issue as it is still new and I can’t keep it.

I am requesting an urgent replacement or a total refund.

I have attached pictures of defected mobile plus the invoice with all my details.

Yours faithfully,

Fouzia

Word Count: 106

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by outlining the defects, steps taken, and desired action. However, elaborating further on the steps taken to resolve the issue and providing more specific details about the defects would enhance the response. For example, you could mention contacting customer support or consulting the phone's manual. Also, the tone could be more assertive in stating the expected action. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between your points to guide the reader. For example, when moving from describing the defects to the actions you've taken, a phrase like 'In an attempt to resolve this...' would help. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of your complaint to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more specific and varied word choices. For instance, instead of saying 'issue in the system,' you could use 'software malfunction' or 'operating system error.' This would make your complaint sound more precise and professional. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'I am writing for you' should be 'I am writing to you,' and 'brought' should be 'bought.' Pay close attention to prepositions, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully can help improve accuracy.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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