Letter

Band 7+: You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter: Describe the problem you had with the tickets Say why were unhappy with the staff Suggest what action the train company should take

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to bring to your attention an issue I had with my train tickets that I could not use.

Last week I bought promotional train tickets advertised by your company, that had a 50% discount. I was elated to have the possibilty to offer a romantic trip to my wife. However, I got surprised at your train station because my tickets were not accepted. honestly, the situation was very stressful and I got very upset. Furthermore, the staff was very unhelpful because they ignored me and refused to understand my situation which i found quite rude, I believe they did not have any qualifications to assume this task.

I trust you can empathize with this situation. Thus, I’m expecting you to take immediate action by replacing my old tickets with good working ones as soon as possible. Moreover, you have to teach and train your station staff to be better to customers and avoid these situations in the future.

Your timely attention to this matter is needed,

Yours faithfully,

Nabil

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

train: 4

tickets: 4

situation: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by describing the problem, highlighting the unhelpful staff, and suggesting actions for the company. The content is relevant and logically organized. To improve, consider adding more specific details about the ticket issue and the staff's behavior to strengthen the impact of your complaint. Also, ensure that the tone remains professional and avoids overly emotional language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the message is clear. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, elaborating slightly more on the impact of the staff's unhelpfulness could strengthen the connection between the problem and the desired action. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. While there's a good range, incorporating more sophisticated or precise language could elevate the letter further. For instance, instead of 'very upset,' consider using a more nuanced term like 'distraught' or 'disheartened.' Also, the phrase 'good working ones' could be replaced with something more specific like 'valid tickets for the same journey.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. While the structures are generally accurate, varying sentence structure and complexity could enhance the overall impact. For example, combining some shorter sentences or using more complex sentence structures could improve the flow and readability. Pay close attention to punctuation to ensure clarity.

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