Letter

Band 4+: You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter: Describe the problem you had with the tickets Say why were unhappy with the staff Suggest what action the train company should take

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Dear Mr and Mrs

I am writing to you about an expereince I had at the train station last week, I went to porirua station where I used I tried to but realised I cannot scan the barcode. I wanted to use for going to work to Paraparaumu, but the staff said to me it could not work because the barcode was expired, also I got the ticket like only a couple days ago the ticket should still be good and not expire for another couple weeks.

The staff say you should buy more ticket, I am reallyt unhappy about it as she raised her voice and was very aggressive. She forced me to buy the new ticket, she doesnt want to check my ticket. I can send you the proof I bought last week.

I suggest you should train your staff to be more patient with your customers. Can you refund my money after I cannot used the ticket, because it was not my fault.

Thank you for your time. I hope you have good day.

Sincerly

Nana

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

ticket: 6

staff: 3

should: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task, describing the ticket problem, expressing unhappiness with the staff, and suggesting action. However, the letter contains some irrelevant information and inaccuracies. To improve, focus on providing clear and concise details, and ensure the information is accurate and relevant to the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. Consider structuring your letter with a clear introduction stating the purpose, followed by paragraphs detailing the problem, your dissatisfaction with the staff, and your suggested actions. Using cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'therefore') can help link ideas and improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the context of the letter. For example, instead of 'the staff said,' you could use 'the staff informed me' or 'the staff indicated.' Using synonyms and more specific words can make your writing more engaging and effective. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, ensure subject-verb agreement and use correct punctuation to avoid run-on sentences. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can significantly improve your accuracy.

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