Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - The date you purchased the phone and order number - Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery - What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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Dear store Manager,

I am writing this letter to inform you some problems about a mobile phone that I have bought from your online shop.

I have purchased the mobile phone last 21 st January, and my order number was HR6584. I have ordered a Samsung A05s model mobile phone, which was black color. Since I was looking for a good phone that will be a good features and cameras, I decided to buy this Samsung mobile phone.

When I have received the phone from delivery man, I opened the box and tried to chack everything is ok. Since it was new, I have expected that it would have everything is fine. However, after opened the purcel, I saw mobile phone had some problems with its screen. Then when I have tried to chack the camera, I saw camera’s feature was not perfect for taking photos.

Since this mobile phone under warenty, I would be happy if you could help me to replace the phone. If the item is not available in your online store, please refund my money in my account.

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully,

Sharif Ahmed

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 8

mobile: 6

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by providing the date of purchase, model of the phone, specific problems, and desired action. However, the letter could benefit from improved clarity and conciseness. Some sentences are a bit wordy and could be restructured for better flow. For example, the second paragraph includes unnecessary details about the writer's reasons for choosing the phone. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance the overall quality of the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping related ideas together more clearly. For example, keep the purchase details in one paragraph and the problems with the phone in another. Also, use clearer transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it could be more precise and varied. For instance, instead of saying 'good features and cameras,' you could say 'advanced features and a high-resolution camera.' Also, avoid repetitive phrases like 'I have purchased the mobile phone' by using synonyms or rephrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to verb tense consistency (e.g., 'I have purchased' vs. 'I purchased'), correct article usage (e.g., 'a mobile phone' vs. 'the mobile phone' when referring to a specific one), and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to catch these errors.

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