Letter

Band 4+: You signed up for a gym membership, but due to some unexpected circumstances, you will be moving to a different city soon. You need to cancel your membership before you move. Write a letter to the gym manager. You should include details about: - why you are canceling your membership - when you will be moving - what you would like them to do regarding the remaining balance or refund.

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Hi, I hope you are doing well. I have a few news for you. As you remember I had a membership to the gym for a year. But I am moving to a new apartment, which is far away from a gym, so I have a trouble to come to the gym at the time.

The reasons why I’m moving are my neighbours because they are very annoying,and also there is not enough parking places under our building. My neighbours started annoying me since I moved here, they always listen to the loud music and even if I complain on them,they start complaining about me to the commandant.And I decided, I can’t live like that anymore,every step,every laugh make the woman which is leaving under to complain on me. I wrote my complain paper and filed a police report. The policeman said that nothing to fill a report so they can’t do anything. Now I am moving to my new apartment.

The purpose of writing this letter is to cancel or transfer a membership. If either of choices is possible I would like to have a meeting with you. Your gym is really perfect and full filled with modern conveniences. Your coach is also professional. I need my money back, due to some reasons. If you don’t want to transfer my membership that is not a problem,because we can cancel it.

In conclusion, I am really sorry to bring you this problems. If I ever will have a chance to go to the gym I will definitely come back. Bye se you.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

membership: 3

moving: 3

complain: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the main requirements of the task: it mentions the current membership, the reason for moving, the desire to cancel or transfer, and a request for a meeting. However, there are several issues that detract from the task achievement. The reason for moving is explained in excessive detail about neighbor problems, which is not directly relevant to the gym membership. The date for cancellation or transfer is not specified, which is a key requirement. The request for a refund is mentioned but not clearly linked to the process, and the letter lacks a clear, formal structure. To improve, focus on the key points: state your membership type, give a specific date for cancellation or transfer, and clearly ask for the necessary steps or forms to finalize the process. Keep the explanation of the move brief and relevant, and maintain a polite, professional tone throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a clear overall purpose, but the flow is disrupted by an overly long and irrelevant explanation of the moving reasons. The organization could be improved by focusing on the key points: the current membership, the move, the desired action (cancel/transfer), and the required information. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and some ideas are repeated. To improve, structure the letter with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each required detail, and a concise conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is basic and sometimes imprecise (e.g., 'a few news', 'full filled', 'modern conveniences'). There are also awkward phrases and informal expressions that are not appropriate for a formal letter. To improve, use more formal and precise language, such as 'I am writing to inform you', 'I would like to request', and 'I would appreciate it if you could'. Avoid overly emotional or informal descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the letter, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence structure. For example, 'I have a trouble to come' should be 'I have trouble coming', and 'I wrote my complain paper' should be 'I filed a complaint'. The letter also contains run-on sentences and punctuation errors. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures accurately and proofread for common errors.

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