Letter

Band 6+: You signed up for a gym membership, but due to some unexpected circumstances, you will be moving to a different city soon. You need to cancel your membership before you move. Write a letter to the gym manager. You should include details about: - why you are canceling your membership - when you will be moving - what you would like them to do regarding the remaining balance or refund.

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Dear Sir/Ma,

My name is John Smith, a new enrollee at your facility. My experience since I joined your gym a forthnight ago, has been fantastic. Apart from the workout routine, I also enjoy the classroom session where we are taught about lifestyle practices for a healty body. Now I know that late night meals negatively impacts the body system causing tummy bloating; this used to be common practice for me before I joined your gym.

Regrettably, there is an emergency at my village that require my attention and as a result, I kindly request that my membership be suspended from Saturday 19th of April. I will be away for exactly 2 months and should resume the preceeding weekend.

My registration number is: 2525147GH (John Smith). You will not be able to reach me over the phone due to network challenges in my hometown. However, you can contact me via my registered email for any information you may require.

Yours sincerely,

John .O Smith

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the reason for cancellation, desired cancellation date, and membership details. However, the request is for a suspension rather than a cancellation, which slightly deviates from the prompt. The letter could be improved by directly stating the need to *cancel* the membership and clarifying whether a refund or alternative arrangement is expected due to the early cancellation. The opening paragraph is a bit too verbose and could be more concise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the reason for cancellation is not clearly stated as permanent. The letter mentions an 'emergency' and requests a 'suspension' of membership, which contradicts the task requirement of cancellation. To improve coherence, clearly state that you need to cancel the membership permanently due to the emergency. Also, ensure that the request aligns with the task instructions.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as 'enrollee,' 'fantastic,' 'lifestyle practices,' and 'negatively impacts.' However, some phrases could be more precise to fit the context. For example, instead of 'require my attention,' you could say 'require my immediate presence' or 'necessitate my relocation.' Overall, the vocabulary is adequate but could be refined for greater impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'a new enrollee at your facility' is acceptable, but 'a recent enrollee' sounds more natural. 'My experience since I joined your gym a forthnight ago, has been fantastic' has a few issues. 'A fortnight ago' is spelled incorrectly, and the sentence structure is awkward. It could be revised to 'My experience since joining your gym two weeks ago has been fantastic.' Also, 'healty' should be 'healthy' and 'preceeding' should be 'preceding'. Addressing these errors will improve the grammatical accuracy and overall quality of the letter.

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