Letter

Band 6+: You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

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Dear Maam or Sir,I hope you are doing well today.I am writing this letter to request a transfer to our main branch in the Phillipines for ahlaf year period.As you know, recently, I have just been awarded as the best employee. Despite this achievement, there is still void deep in my heart that I want to fill. I truly believe that this opportunity will not only improve my skills but also provide positive impact to our company as I am willing to share to my co-workers the ideas that I can acquire from our headquarters. By this, a prosperous outcomes are expected to happen in the future.Secondly, I am training Michael intensively to be my replace while I am away. Moreover, I will continue to manage the progress in our company as I will hold an online meeting very oftenin order to discuss some pertinent issues that must be addressed immediately.I would greatly appreciate it if you could reach out to our head in the Philippines team to complete this arragement. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon,

Thank you,

Yours sincerely,

Dimitrii

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the desire to work at the head office, how work will be managed during the absence, and a request for assistance. However, some points could be more clearly and directly stated. For example, the reasons for wanting to work at the head office are somewhat vague ('void deep in my heart'). To improve, provide more specific and practical reasons for the transfer request, and ensure all points are clearly and directly addressed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect your points and guide the reader through your reasoning. For example, you could use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to this,' or 'Therefore' to strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. While words like 'void' and 'prosperous outcomes' are used, they don't fully align with the professional context of the letter. Try to incorporate more specific business-related vocabulary to enhance the impact of your message. For example, instead of 'void,' you could say 'a desire for professional development' or 'an opportunity for broader experience.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'ahlaf year period' should be 'a half-year period' or 'six-month period,' and 'to my replace' should be 'as my replacement.' Pay close attention to articles (a, an, the), prepositions, and verb tenses. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors. Also, vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical skills.

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