Letter

Band 4+: Your local community group is organising a fundraising event for a local charity. Write a letter to the members of your group. In your letter: • explain the purpose of the fundraising event, • give details about the time and venue, • tell members how they can contribute.

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Hello!

I am orginising a fundraising event for a local charity and want to invite members to my community. Charity’s name is “Freedom” and they helps to elder people and poor families. That is their main mission, so if you are compassionate person with kind heart, you can join to charity. The event will be on the Red Square at 6 p.m on Saturday. It is a leisure time for the most of people, so you won’t boring. Also we provide the accomadation in hotel near the Red Square. Finally, we will be really glad, if you come to us, because your help is very important. You will be very useful.

Thank you for reading! Hope to see you soon!

Best wishes,

Organising community

Word Count: 124

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by inviting a community member to a fundraising event and including details about the charity, event details, and how to contribute. However, the information provided is somewhat basic and lacks elaboration. To improve, provide more specific details about the charity's activities and the impact of their work. Also, offer concrete suggestions for how people can contribute, such as donating items, volunteering time, or participating in specific activities during the event. The tone could be more persuasive and engaging to encourage participation. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your letter. For example, you could use phrases like "In addition to..." or "Furthermore..." to connect related ideas. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and could be enhanced to make the letter more engaging and persuasive. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to charity, fundraising, and community involvement. For instance, instead of saying "helps to elder people," you could say "provides assistance to elderly individuals." Also, avoid informal language to maintain a professional tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage (a/an/the). For example, "Charity's name is..." should be "The charity's name is..." Also, ensure that your sentences are complete and grammatically sound. Proofreading carefully before submitting your letter can help catch these errors.

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