Opinion

Band 4+: Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Climate change is a very dangours problem on our lives and mostly effect on the our future generation.I strongly disagree with the responsibility of individuals, but i mostly agree with governments, in corporation to deal with this problem and stop to pollute our air.

On the one hand,climate change is not responsibility of individuals person.One person do not take this responsibility in our city.In big cities, individuals person not stop factories and other corporation.Many tree are cut down and new socities will ouccr.In this work governments help the person to stop the cut trees.For example, individuals do not stop the person to cut trees where helps the government people are stop to cut the trees.

On the other hand,all the responsibility to handover the government and stop the big factories and corporation.Government close machine that pollute air with their smoke and this smoke very posions for humans and animals.For example, many years ago, government fine the big factories who pollute the air.Factories pollute not only air they also pollute the water.Many factories waste out water and they go through in river and oecans.This water pollute the all river and die all oecan animals.First off all, government stop the waste water that factories wasted these material and then to get the big fine.There is very signifact rule for the factories and corporations.

In my opinion, individuals have no any reponsbility to stop the climate change, but also governments to stop their factories and corporation to pollute their climate change this is very signifact problem.

Word Count: 253

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

pollute: 7

factories: 7

individuals: 5

change: 4

responsibility: 4

person: 4

government: 4

climate: 3

problem: 3

governments: 3

their: 3

water: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position: that the responsibility lies with governments rather than individuals. However, the development of ideas is limited. While the writer identifies that individuals cannot stop factories or deforestation, the arguments lack depth and precision. The connection between the examples provided and the core concept of 'responsibility' could be more clearly articulated. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Idea Development**: Instead of just stating that individuals cannot stop factories, explain *why* large-scale change requires systemic action (e.g., legislation, international treaties, or infrastructure changes) that only governments can implement. 2. **Cohesion and Structure**: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence. Some sentences are repetitive or circular, which hinders the logical flow of the argument. 3. **Clarity of Argument**: Avoid oversimplifying the role of individuals. While the prompt asks to compare individuals to governments/corporations, a more nuanced argument might acknowledge that while individuals have a small role (e.g., recycling), the primary burden must fall on larger entities. This would demonstrate a more sophisticated response to the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often difficult to follow due to repetitive phrasing and unclear logical links. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (such as 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', or 'In contrast') to connect your ideas more smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive (e.g., frequent use of 'stop', 'pollute', and 'person'). There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'dangours', 'ouccr', 'socities', 'posions', 'signifact') that can distract the reader. To improve, try to learn synonyms for common words. For example, instead of 'stop', you could use 'prevent', 'curb', or 'mitigate'. Instead of 'big problem', you could use 'pressing issue' or 'critical challenge'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'One person do not'), article usage (e.g., 'the our future'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, which makes it difficult to understand the intended meaning. I recommend focusing on mastering basic sentence structures (Subject + Verb + Object) and practicing the use of plural nouns and correct verb tenses before attempting more complex structures.

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Band 4+: Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Topic: In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier and live longer, but they are less happy. Question: What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

In recent years, many young people spend increasing amounts of time using social media . Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Coherence & Cohesion

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