Opinion

Band 5+: SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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It is believed that the public gains more negative influences rather than the good ones through social media. Although social platforms have some drawbacks such as spread of misinformation, I believe that social media has more beneficial usages.

Admittedly, social media can be one of the main reasons for spreading false information. The reason is that there are so many influencers in the world as well as people who are eager to follow them. They usually make contents that are actually not real in order to gain the community’s attention. As a result many people tend to believe in false information, and once they find out the truth they would most likely start not to believe even the truths. To illustrate, in 2012, there was a popular view among the people that they thought the world was coming to its end. The reason was that the Mayan people’s calendar was until that year. That’s why many people thought this was true and found that they were wrong. Although social media has its negative sides, I opine that they could be used for the better.

Social media can be the source of help for many situations. The reason is that, nowadays, many people have problems with their devices or with their daily life chores. And they may not be able to find solutions for them on their own. So, they could only open the app and ask for help online. Consequently, many people who have experiences with the problems may be able to assist the ones who are in need. In addition, when people are financially unstable or maybe are looking for work, they could just upload their resume to social media and the companies will contact them. To illustrate, there is an app called LinkedIn. This platform is well-known since many unemployed people could simply just post their CVs, and the companies which are looking for the employees can find their information that could ask them to work for their companies. While there are drawbacks of using social media, I believe that its benefits are more.

In conclusion, It is assumed that social media is being used that is making negative impacts. I assume that while social media has negative usages, I believe that it can be used in more useful ways.

Word Count: 382

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 9

media: 9

people: 8

their: 7

believe: 5

could: 5

negative: 4

there: 4

information: 3

reason: 3

companies: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position that is maintained throughout the response. The ideas are relevant, and the use of specific examples (the Mayan calendar and LinkedIn) helps to support the arguments. However, the development of ideas could be more sophisticated. For instance, the connection between social media and the Mayan calendar prophecy is a bit tangential; it would be more effective to focus on how social media specifically accelerates the viral spread of modern misinformation. Additionally, the second body paragraph discusses general internet help/forums, which could be more explicitly linked to 'social media' platforms to ensure the argument remains tightly focused on the topic. To improve, aim for more precise vocabulary and ensure that every example directly reinforces the specific mechanism of social media being discussed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have used cohesive devices such as 'Admittedly', 'As a result', and 'In addition' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit repetitive (e.g., starting multiple sentences with 'The reason is that'). To improve, try to vary your sentence structures and use more sophisticated linking phrases to connect ideas more fluidly rather than relying on a cause-and-effect formula.

Lexical Resource

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, such as 'misinformation', 'financially unstable', and 'beneficial usages'. However, there is some repetition of words like 'people', 'social media', and 'problems'. To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of 'make contents', use 'create content'; instead of 'the good ones', use 'positive aspects' or 'advantages'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement, awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the companies which are looking for the employees can find their information that could ask them to work'), and improper use of articles. Pay close attention to sentence construction to ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and naturally. Practicing the use of relative clauses and conditional sentences will help improve your grammatical range.

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