Opinion

Band 4+: SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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Many people believe that social media has more disadvantages on internet users than advantages. I completely agree that social media has more bad influence, because social media develops internet addiction and contributes to spread fake information among teenagers who are endangerd of it.

Social media shouldn’t affect on media users negatively,like internet addiction. While irresponsible people spend too much time scrolling videos in apps such as TikTok and Instagram, do not realise of wasted time that could be used in education. In addition, internet addiction develops laziness, which contributes to put off important things which will determine your future.According to latest statistics, majority of students are suffering due to internet addiction because of lack of time and fail important exams.

Also, young people believe in information that has never happened, which contributes to negative consequences. Child’s mind starts developing from birth and false data is able to change their view of life. Moreover, fake videos that carry negative content affect on young people’s mind and therefore negative examples contribute youth to commit sins. Recent news showed that children listen to fake information and gather negative examples,such as racism.

To conclude, I believe that social media has more disadvantages than advantages because it causes addiction and spread false information.Therefore,people should use social media responsibly and limit they spend online

Word Count: 218

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

media: 7

social: 5

internet: 5

addiction: 5

negative: 4

people: 3

believe: 3

because: 3

contributes: 3

information: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position that is maintained throughout the response. The main ideas - internet addiction and the spread of misinformation - are relevant to the topic. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the consequences (laziness, failing exams, or changing views of life), the connection between the cause and the effect could be explained with more depth and sophistication. To improve, try to expand on 'how' and 'why' these phenomena occur. For example, instead of just stating that fake news changes a child's view, you could explain how the lack of critical thinking skills in youth makes them vulnerable to digital manipulation. Additionally, ensure that your supporting examples are more logically integrated into your arguments to avoid a list-like structure. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (linking words) beyond 'In addition', 'Also', and 'Moreover'. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is fully developed with supporting details that flow logically from one sentence to the next.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive (e.g., using 'negative' and 'bad' frequently). There are also instances of incorrect word choices, such as 'endangered of it' instead of 'vulnerable to it' or 'contribute youth to commit sins' which is phrased unnaturally. To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and express complex ideas more accurately. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'affect on' instead of 'affect'), and sentence fragments (e.g., the sentence starting with 'While irresponsible people...'). Additionally, there are errors in word forms and sentence structure (e.g., 'limit they spend online'). Focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate.

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Band 4+: SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MORE NEGATIVE EFFECTS THAN POSITIVE ONES. AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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