Opinion

Band 4+: Details of politicians private live should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People think that details of politicians private daily lives should not shared in the public. I would argue with them because they are handling with big positions in the state not living like any one else.

Firstly, the reason why I agree with privacy for those people is famous people should have some privacy in their life because every thing they getting followed in the citizes especially politician’s and also their life allways in danger so they must be careful with they movements. For example politician’s in Egypt don’t published any thing about thier owen life in tv, newapers and social media. therefore, to protect and get away from any possible danger I belive the private for them is essential.On other hand, the advantage number 2 would be the inside peaceful they will feel. Because working in this important position in the country is really difficult. So when they decide to take a rest or go for vacation the must have some privacy as a result their quality of work will increase and the private details life will support the performance speed of thier brain and make their thinking and decision much better.

In conclusion, many citizens discuss about private details in politician’s life and from my view it is alright for everyone to make his private life away from public.

Word Count: 221

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

private: 5

their: 4

people: 3

details: 3

because: 3

privacy: 3

politician's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is limited and not always clear. The position is present but could be strengthened with more specific examples and clearer explanations. The essay could benefit from improved organization and coherence, as well as a more sophisticated use of vocabulary and grammar. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully with relevant examples and explanations, and ensure a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the arguments are difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but not effectively used to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak or missing, making it hard for the reader to understand the relationships between ideas. To improve, focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each address a specific point, and a concise conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas and ensure a smooth flow of thought.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and imprecise language. The essay does not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary or sophisticated control of lexical features. To enhance your lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of words and phrases, paying attention to their precise meanings and appropriate contexts. Focus on learning synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more effectively. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede clarity and understanding. The range of grammatical structures used is limited, and there is a lack of control over complex sentence constructions. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to punctuation and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and easy to read.

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