Opinion

Band 7+: Giving detailed descriptions of crimes in newspapers and on TV can have negative consequences, so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that giving the original scenes of crimes in newspapers and on TV could have bad consequences, so it should be banned. I strongly agree that the crime scenes should not be published in newspapers or broadcast on TVs.

One of the main reasons why they should not be published is that young children may be negatively influenced. By constantly exposing these types of criminal activities, they could see them as a normal part of their lives and they may imitate criminals’ behaviors. As a consequence they may go down the wrong path and get involved in criminal activities, such as terrorism and drug dealing. It is also worth noting that criminals can threaten citizens by using violence, such as guns in the public places or taking people as human shields.

Another significant concern is that newspapers and TV programs are sharing deeply detailed information with the public. Consequently, it can benefit criminals. If they notice that their criminal plans are revealed to the media, they can learn about what police know about their criminal activities and change their plans, so it would be extremely difficult for police to find out. Additionally, public safety would be a big problem. When criminals find out about the victims, they can achieve their goals more efficiently than before. Therefore, restrictions are reasonable for these reasons, the media should avoid giving much detailed information. They can give information without much sensitive details.

In conclusion, I totally agree with not giving much detailed information to the public. Unless, it can be used against our benefits.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

should: 4

criminal: 4

public: 4

information: 4

giving: 3

newspapers: 3

activities: 3

criminals: 3

detailed: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development, particularly regarding the influence on children and the potential benefit to criminals. However, the supporting ideas could be more precise and focused. For example, the point about criminals threatening citizens is not fully developed and seems somewhat disconnected. The conclusion is brief and could be strengthened by summarizing the main arguments more clearly. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all points directly support the thesis. Additionally, avoid vague statements and aim for more specific examples or explanations to enhance clarity and depth.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow well, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'One of the main reasons', 'Another significant concern', 'Therefore', 'In conclusion') helps guide the reader. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition in the second body paragraph from discussing criminals to public safety, and the final sentence of the conclusion is awkwardly phrased. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between ideas are smoother.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some precise and appropriate choices (e.g., 'negatively influenced', 'imitate criminals' behaviors', 'revealed to the media', 'sensitive details'). There is evidence of flexibility in word choice, but some phrases are slightly informal or imprecise (e.g., 'go down the wrong path', 'against our benefits'). To achieve a higher score, aim for more sophisticated and natural collocations, and avoid informal expressions. Also, ensure that vocabulary is used consistently and accurately throughout. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and demonstrates good control of grammar. There are only minor errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases (e.g., 'As a consequence they may...' should have a comma) and a slight awkwardness in the final sentence ('Unless, it can be used against our benefits' is unclear). Overall, the grammar is accurate, but to reach a higher band, refine sentence structures for greater clarity and ensure punctuation is consistently correct.

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