Cause And Solution

Band 6+: In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Stress and depression levels among people has significantly increased in many countries. According to the research reports from psychological and counselling institute International organisation, in every 10 individuals, there is high likelihood that 7 are battling some kind of stress. The high cost of living, and unstable relationships among people has proven to be the greatest cause of stress.mitigation measures must therefore strive to advocate for individuals to stick to their specific budgets and build strong interpersonal relationships among peers.

Harsh economic situations are all over forcing many members into great pain and strain.This is evident because huge number of employees in many sectors are in fact forced to work overtime in order to mint the extra coin to support their increasing family demands and this generates tension and stress due to insufficient rest. Additionally Forming and mantaining healthy relationships has increasingly become a big challenge to many, which leads to stress. Most relationships don’t survive for long because of lack of commitmen honest. People have really become self centred and afraid of sharing t feelings and wor e to either low sel steem or fear of possible harsh judgments. This is evident from the sui al notes left those who become greatly overwhelmed.

Interestingly the mitigation measures to stress are more of personal choice than public issue. This is because individuals must have to understand themselves first and the root cause of their stress. First, people should be trained on financial literacy. This will tremendously improve their budgeting and spending habits so that they live within their abilities. Moreover psychological counselling is needed to guide on forming and maintaining strong interpersonal relationships. Social skills and collaborative initiatives among people brings a sense of belongings and love which drives away stress.

In conclusion, stress is really among many individuals and needs to be addressed urgently. Having good financial literacy and a sense of belonging by formation of lasting Relationships will possibly help reduce its detrimental effects in society.

Word Count: 328

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stress: 7

relationships: 6

among: 5

people: 5

their: 5

individuals: 4

because: 3

become: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt appropriately, identifying causes of stress and suggesting relevant measures to tackle it. A clear position is presented throughout the essay. However, there are instances where the supporting ideas could benefit from more focus and precision. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the connections between the causes, effects, and proposed solutions. Also, ensure that the arguments are consistently clear and well-supported throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but there are instances where the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions between points sometimes feel abrupt, and the essay could benefit from more explicit signposting to guide the reader. For example, in the second paragraph, the link between economic situations and relationship challenges could be made more explicit. In the third paragraph, the transition from identifying the problem to discussing solutions could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of your arguments.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choice. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, some phrases are somewhat generic (e.g., "greatest cause of stress," "big challenge"). Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas with greater clarity and impact. For example, instead of 'mitigation measures,' consider using 'alleviative strategies' or 'remedial actions.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is consistently accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally impede understanding. Errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage are present. For example, "people has significantly increased" should be "people have significantly increased," and "lack of commitmen honest" needs correction. While the range of structures is adequate, improving accuracy is crucial. Proofread carefully to identify and correct grammatical errors, and focus on mastering fundamental grammar rules to enhance the clarity and credibility of your writing.

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