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Band 4+: In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

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Some countries face the problem of lack of respect to older population. This essay will discuss what could be the possible reasons for this and the issues it can be caused in the society.

Firstly, the young generation these days have a certain mindset they follow. Whether it’s a new beliefs that weren’t popular in the past, or a recent trend in the social media, they think it’s cool such as trendy dances, clothes and the catchy slang they tend to use. But elderly don’t find that appealing and might get in conflict with their children when they follow such beliefs. As a result, there children might find that outdated and doesn’t worth to be respected. Also, a lot of people might be naturally rude and disrespectful to everyone.

This can cause numerous problems in the society. For instance, a social breakdown between families can occur because most elderly need extra attention and care, and if their family didn’t respect them enough, they won’t see any benefits of being in touch with them and give them all they need.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

might: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for lack of respect towards older people and potential problems. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and expand on the potential consequences of disrespect towards the elderly. Focus on developing each point with more detail and clarity. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and attempts to address both parts of the question. However, the organization could be improved. The ideas are somewhat loosely connected, and the essay would benefit from clearer transitions between points. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is basic and could be more effectively used to group related ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally simple and sometimes imprecise ('a certain mindset they follow,' 'they think it's cool'). There is limited use of more sophisticated vocabulary to express ideas with greater nuance. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language to convey your meaning. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('can be caused'), subject-verb agreement issues ('there children might find'), and awkward phrasing ('doesn't worth to be respected'). Sentence structure is also quite basic, with a reliance on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing a wider range of sentence structures. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

In many countries today, insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

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People today sleep less and less. What are the causes of this? Do you think this is a positive development?

People today sleep less and less. What are the causes of this? Do you think this is a positive development?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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