Discussion

Band 6+: In many parts of the world, people do research on their family history. Some people believe that finding out about previous generations is a useful thing to do. However, others believe that it is better to focus on present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern era, people are more interested in their family history. There is a common view that knowing our past generations is beneficial for our life but others argue that people should pay more attention to their present and future generations. I believe we should learn more about our ancestors, as their past experiences, values, and lifestyle can help us better understand our identity and make wiser decisions in the future.

Truly, there are a couple of reasons why we should focus on the present and future generations. Nowadays, many people spend more time on their work and study, and important skills that are an essential part of life, rather than looking back. In today’s competitive world, modern professions receive sertificates and qualifications, their practical skills rather than their family background. By concentrating on their studies and working hard, individuals can increase their career opportunities and respond effectively to rapid technological and social changes. In fact, knowledge of the past provides little practical benefit for their future career development.

With regard to other factors that people must learn from their ancestors, day by day, the young generations forget their previous generations and their identity. Learning more about their family history makes people’s relationships stronger. They should know where they came from and who their ancestors were, as this knowledge can help them develop a sense of great identity. Knowing family bonds and background allows them to respect their values, traditions, and struggle to previous generations. Furthermore, having knowledge about illnesses in the family can help them prevent future health issues, and they may identify the disease and who it came from. For instance, if a grandmother suffers from poor eyesight, her grandchildren may also be more likely to experience vision problems later in life. By identifying and knowing earlier their ancestors’ illnesses can help them take medical conditions and adopt a healthier lifestyle. I believe that learning about past family history plays a crucial role in their life because their experiences and values can guide them more effectively in their present and future lifestyle.

Word Count: 345

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 19

family: 6

generations: 6

future: 5

people: 4

should: 4

about: 4

history: 3

knowing: 3

present: 3

ancestors: 3

values: 3

lifestyle: 3

identity: 3

knowledge: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and directly linked back to the prompt's central question. Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and logically organizes ideas into paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to overall coherence. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened with more explicit linking words or phrases. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating on how focusing on work and study detracts from looking back could enhance the flow. Similarly, in the third paragraph, providing a clearer transition between the importance of family history and its impact on identity and health could improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, used appropriately to convey the writer's ideas. There is evidence of attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'ancestors' and 'competitive world'. However, there are some instances where word choice could be more precise to enhance the impact of the writing. For example, instead of 'makes people's relationships stronger,' consider using a more specific phrase like 'fosters stronger familial bonds.' Overall, the lexical resource is adequate but could benefit from more nuanced and sophisticated word choices. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. Most sentences are grammatically correct and clear in meaning. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors or awkward phrasing that slightly detract from the overall quality. For example, 'modern professions receive sertificates and qualifications, their practical skills rather than their family background' could be rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness. Paying closer attention to sentence structure and proofreading for minor errors would further enhance the grammatical accuracy of the essay.

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