Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: In many societies, social media has become the primary source of news. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Needless to say, social media and internet has been enhanced dramatically in the contemporary world and vast majority of people use online material to get daily news. I believe that it is a really advantageous approach and would benefit mankind drastically with few minor drawbacks.

The most evident benefit of getting news online is that it would improve ecosystem noticeably. To elaborate further, when people stopped reading news paper, it would result in less sales of news paper and consequently, news paper production would decrease, which means less trees would be cut for paper production. Another vital plus point of online news is it can be accessed easily from anywhere. For instance, a survey conducted in the UK in 2017, shows that 60% of people in the UK get their news on the go while traveling, which save their time while commuting. Therefore, getting news online have really advantageous points.

On the other hand, it also have some downsides. One major drawback of getting news online is that it would minimise the habit of reading. To elucidate, people would stop reading news paper and get their daily news from social media without any effort. Another significant disadvantage of online news is people, who have hearing issues or struggle to sit infront of screen, may feel is stressfull to get access to online news.

In conclusion, though the increase in getting news online through social media have several drawbacks, I believe that it advantages are more significant and would help man kind dramatically.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 8

would: 8

people: 5

paper: 5

getting: 4

social: 3

media: 3

reading: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of getting news from social media, and it presents a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, with specific examples such as the environmental benefit and the UK survey. However, the supporting ideas could be more precise and developed; for instance, the point about reducing the habit of reading is not fully explained, and the disadvantage about hearing issues seems less directly relevant to the topic. To improve, focus on extending each point with clearer reasoning and more specific examples directly tied to news consumption on social media. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion succinctly reinforces the main argument without introducing new ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the benefit of saving trees to the ease of access is abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive (e.g., 'Another vital plus point', 'On the other hand'). To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that logically connects to the next.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some good attempts at less common words (e.g., 'ecosystem', 'drastically', 'elucidate'). However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'enhanced dramatically' should be 'developed dramatically', 'minimise the habit of reading' is awkward, 'help man kind' should be 'help mankind'). The phrasing is sometimes unnatural. To improve, focus on using vocabulary more precisely and naturally, and avoid direct translations from your native language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement errors are common (e.g., 'social media and internet has been enhanced', 'it also have some downsides', 'it advantages are more significant'). There are also issues with articles (e.g., 'vast majority of people' should be 'the vast majority'), prepositions (e.g., 'sit infront of screen' should be 'sit in front of a screen'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'may feel is stressfull' is incorrect). To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and article usage, and practice writing more complex sentences accurately.

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