Opinion

Band 4+: In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

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It has been said that to children ,you have to work that much for acheive your goals in certain cultures . But there are some advantages and disadvantages .sometimes this make them mortivate but on the other hand it slso feel them more stress.

When we think about positive aspect of this statement ,it is definitely encourage the children during their education time period.most of the time this is reravent to the asian contries students. Because there are so msny challenges they have to face their childhood due to ecomonical and financial condtion of the their family. When they are growing with these conditions they become more strong enought to tolerate any difficult situation. It will been produce ion man or women. On the other hand due to advance technology development,everything can get easily. For example not only children,university students also doing their assigments and researches by artificial intelligence technology . This can be cause for the full of lazy people in future world.

Nevertheless ,there us another point od view that to fullfill their goals they have to sacrify things. Most of the time it may be peace of the mind. Stressfull child can be more dangerous than lazy child to the society. For example sometimes we heard about gun shooting and murdering at the school premises. This can be the cause root for these incidents.

In conclusion,there are so many positive and negative effects in this message. But it should be change as work smart ,not hard. Smart work can give birth to smart children who will be given bright to future.

Word Count: 264

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

children: 3

there: 3

smart: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay attempts to address the prompt, but the response lacks depth and development. The position is not entirely clear and could be more fully developed. The ideas presented are somewhat relevant, but they are not fully extended or well supported. The essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the advantages and disadvantages of the statement. Additionally, the essay should provide a clearer and more direct answer to the question.

Coherence & Cohesion

The message is somewhat difficult to follow due to the lack of clear organization and coherence. The essay would benefit from better paragraphing and a more logical flow of ideas. Cohesion is lacking, and there are some noticeable lapses in coherence and cohesion throughout the essay. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource

There is some use of vocabulary, but it is not always accurate or appropriate. The essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more precise use of language. Additionally, the control of lexical features is not very natural or sophisticated. Try to incorporate more varied and advanced vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates some use of a range of structures, but there are also noticeable errors in punctuation and grammar. Work on using a wider variety of sentence structures with more control. Additionally, pay closer attention to punctuation and grammar to improve accuracy throughout the essay.

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Band 4+: In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

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Task 2: The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashions in clothes and other consumer goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The movement of people from the countryside into the cities is happening in many parts of the world, resulting in the problems, especially in cities. What are the causes of this movement, and how can it be reversed.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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