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Band 5+: Many countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In today’s world, in many countries most of the shops and products are the same. While some interpret tihs as a positive development, other think it is negative. In my opinion, companies and shop owners should establish a balance to enhance their success.

On the one hand, selling identical products in same shops in most of the countries has a drawback. In particular, this strategy obstacles people who seek for different products. For instance, in the fashion industry, manufacturers follows the popular trend to reach high sale rates which leads to producing similar clothes. Therefore, the reason why people think it is a negative development is because most of the people are wearing identical clothes and they look like similar in the crowd.

On the other hand, some companies are very successful in terms of attracting the society. Therefore, individuals want to follow the trend and acces these products easily in their countries. At this point, shop owners and companies focusing to popular products to facilitate these people who are interested with it. As a result, this is the reason why some people interpret this as a development because it ease to access popular goods

To sum up, when we consider all the aspects, I firmly believe manufacturers and shop owners should strike a balance and focus to trending and different variant products at the same time to reach all spectrum of the community.

Word Count: 234

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

products: 6

people: 5

countries: 3

development: 3

companies: 3

owners: 3

popular: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Also, ensure that your position is consistently maintained throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate organization, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between paragraphs are present but could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between the general statement and the example could be strengthened.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to express ideas, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, 'obstacles people who seek for different products' could be rephrased for clarity and impact. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more specific and nuanced words will enhance the quality of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For instance, 'other think it is negative' and 'manufacturers follows the popular trend' contain errors that need correction. Proofreading carefully and focusing on accurate grammar will improve your score.

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