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Band 6+: Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine

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Sport has long been recognised as one of the key contributors to people’s health, which improved both their physical and mental well-being. Despite many recommendations made by doctors, elderly people fail to follow them. This issue is due to physical limitations and long-established habits and lack of motivation, and this problem cam be effectively tackled by offering specialised sport programmes and govermenent providers organising awareness campaigns.

To commence, this issue is partially caused by health-related limitation. For instance, at this age many elderly people have chronic illnesses or decreased mobility, making excercises physically demanding or even painful. Therefore, older people are reluctant to follow doctors recommendations as there are individual types of exercises that they can not complete due to health problems. However, one of the measures that could be implemented to address this issue is providing people in age with specialised classes. Under the supervision of professional instructors – who are aware of their health limitations-elderly people could exercise safely acording to their physical abilities.

What is more, this issue is also caused be the existence of already developed long-standing habits that are challenging to improve. For instance, many elderly people have lived the same lifestyle for decades. In spite of the recommendations of doctors, they may lack motivation to alter their routine and habits. One policy that could help reverse this trend is local governments organising awareness clubs that could help bring back elderly people the desire to engage in social and physical activities. Furthermore, these clubs should tal; about the benefits of regular sport and the risks of sedentary life. This may encourage older people to adopt healthier lifestyle.

In conclusion, although elderly people fail to follow the recommendations, as they have certain health limitations and do not have the desire to alter their routines, there are several ways – such as introducing classes specifically designed for adults and providinng public health campaings and regular encouragement from healthcare – d this problem can be mitigated

Word Count: 328

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 9

health: 5

their: 5

elderly: 5

physical: 4

recommendations: 4

issue: 4

could: 4

sport: 3

doctors: 3

follow: 3

habits: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly identified the causes (physical limitations and ingrained habits) and provided logical solutions (specialized classes and awareness campaigns). The position is consistent throughout the response. To reach a higher band, ensure that the development of ideas is even more seamless. For example, in the second paragraph, you transition from a 'cause' to a 'solution' within the same paragraph; while this is acceptable, it can sometimes disrupt the structural flow of a 'cause and solution' essay. It is often cleaner to dedicate one paragraph strictly to causes and another strictly to solutions. Additionally, be careful with minor typographical errors (e.g., 'cam', 'acording', 'tal;', 'providinng') to ensure the professional quality of the writing remains high.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that address each part of the prompt, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices like 'To commence', 'What is more', and 'In conclusion' effectively to guide the reader. However, there are some minor issues with sentence structure in the conclusion that slightly disrupt the flow. To improve, ensure that your concluding sentence is grammatically complete; the final sentence currently ends abruptly with a fragment ('- d this problem can be mitigated').

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'chronic illnesses', 'decreased mobility', 'sedentary life', and 'mitigated'. There are a few spelling errors (e.g., 'cam', 'acording', 'tal;', 'providinng', 'campaings') and some slightly awkward phrasing (e.g., 'people in age'). To reach a higher band, focus on precision in word choice and ensure that spelling is accurate throughout the essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

You use a variety of complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that prevent a higher score. These include subject-verb agreement issues, typos that affect word formation (e.g., 'caused be' instead of 'caused by'), and punctuation errors. Pay close attention to the structure of long, complex sentences to ensure they remain grammatically sound and do not become run-on sentences or fragments.

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