Opinion

Band 4+: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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A lot of criminal occurs more offence after serving the first punishment. This occur repeatedly in he society nowadays in many perceptions.

Many offenders are feels bored in their punishment due to lake of good procedure in jail. They feel hesitate to mix good people and society could not watch him good people. People are always identified him an offender. For that reasons criminal feel dissatisfaction in family and society. They could not survive in society with mentally. Then they stay closer with bad people again and commit crime again and again. Also, they lose their decision ad judge capacity day by day and do more crimes. Many of offender are free from proper punishment that why the will occur crime again.

To overcome this type of situation family and society need to do more step to taken. Family person is more important to reduce this type of crime commit. They need to support them and more taking care their mental health. Also, society people are need to value them and do not need to see as a criminal. They can assist them any good way. Also, government punishment policy needs to be developed to cure offender. Example, if anybody do a crime. He needs to be punished with actual law and regulation of the country. If he free from without proper punishment, he will do again crime. Also need to prohibit drugs and cigarette to sell under 18 ages people. I think need to upgrade rehabilitation center and monitoring from government authority. Adverting can help to reduce this type of crime by social influencer and well -known organization.

Word Count: 269

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

society: 6

people: 6

crime: 6

punishment: 5

again: 4

criminal: 3

their: 3

offender: 3

family: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the suggested measures. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often missing or weak, making it challenging for the reader to understand the relationships between ideas. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical transitions, and well-defined paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of simple words and phrases. There are also instances of inaccurate word choice and usage, which can confuse the reader. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary, including synonyms and more precise terms. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence structure problems. These errors significantly impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review grammar concepts regularly and seek feedback on your writing to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Task Response

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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