Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Many old cities around the world are going through a major process of modernization. What are the advantages and disadvantages of modernization?

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Modernization is a process in which cities improve and update their infrastructure and all areas of activity. One might claim that modernization has advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand,modernization has its own benefits. Firstly,along with modernization,people’s living standards increase, new opportunities for development and jobs appear. Moreover, thanks to modernization,the economic level of the country increases. For example, in Singapore,the original old port,the old infrastructure was modernized,modern areas were created,public transport was improved,which made the city the world financial capital.

On the other hand,modernization has its own difficulties. Secondly,modernization raises the standard of living in the country,which is why the prices for everything rise and people can’t afford to buy the necessary things . Furthermore,the modernization requires huge sums of money. For instance,according to the World Bank,around 20% of the world countries have a low level of modernization because they don’t have funds to renewal the roads and infrastructure.

To sum up,I can say that modernization has a lot of benefits. This process allows people to find new opportunities for country development and gives significant contribution for persons lives.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

modernization: 5

world: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of modernization. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, although some points could benefit from further development and precision. To improve, focus on providing more specific details and analysis to strengthen the arguments. Also, ensure a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, avoiding a conclusion that overly emphasizes one side. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate arrangement of ideas into paragraphs, but the flow could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between increased living standards and new opportunities could be more explicitly stated. In the third paragraph, the transition to discussing the financial burden of modernization could be smoother. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could offer a more insightful summary of the arguments presented.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to express the main ideas, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Some word choices are slightly generic (e.g., "things," "a lot of benefits"). Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary to enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. For example, instead of "prices for everything rise," you could say "the cost of essential goods and services increases." Also, focus on using collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriately to demonstrate a more natural command of the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally impede understanding. Errors in article usage, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure are present throughout the essay. For example, "modernization has its own benefits" could be improved to "modernization offers several benefits." Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of prepositions, and accurate punctuation. Review and correct grammatical errors to enhance the clarity and credibility of your writing.

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