Opinion

Band 4+: Many students are now refusing to choose science subjects at theiruniversity level. Why do you think this is happening and what is the impact on the community?

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There is a growing trend where today more pupils are refusing to select science subjects at their university grade.This essay will discuss the main causes such as, students become more lazy and spend so many time for playing video games and also implications such as ungraduates can be less educated and pupils’ knowledge level may decline of reducing the selection of science subjects.

The students become more lazy and spend so many time for playing video games are the main causes of declining the selection of science subjects.When students do not choose science themes, they can not concentrate on studying,thereby increasing the number of sedentary pupils. For example, In the USA many ungraduates refuse to select the science subjects because instead of specialising on learning, they prefer to spend their most time for entertaining, that’s why there are a lot of lazy youngsters in the country.Since ungraduates spend so many time for playing video games, they can not manage their time for learning, thereby increasing the amount of refusing the selection of subjects.For instance, In France the amount of selection of subjects is less, because most of the adolescents are more concentrated on playing video games rather than learning, so the country is a little vulnerable in educational side.

The ungraduates can be less educated and pupils’ knowledge may decline are the main effects of the refusing to choose the science subjects.With pupils becoming sedentary in the study, they can lose their focus, which can make them less educated.For instance, In China most of the students are poor in learning subjects, as to they are more lazy and not have a interest on subjects, that’s why there are a lot of less educated pupils in the state.Since ungraduates manage most of their time for gaming, they can ignore the subjects, thereby declining the knowledge of the students.For example, In Europe several students’ knowledge level is low and poor, because they allocate more time for playing games, which is separate pupils from the studying.

In conclusion. This essay discussed the main reasons of reducing the selection of the science subjects.Including students become more lazy and spend more time for gaming also ramifications including pupils can be less educated and the knowledge level of ungraduates can decrease.

Word Count: 375

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 7

pupils: 6

subjects: 6

ungraduates: 6

their: 5

students: 5

spend: 5

playing: 5

games: 5

knowledge: 5

selection: 5

video: 4

educated: 4

learning: 4

there: 3

refusing: 3

become: 3

level: 3

because: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and impacts), but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The central argument - that students avoid science because they are 'lazy' due to video games - is presented as a circular argument rather than a nuanced explanation. The examples provided (USA, France, China, Europe) are used repetitively to restate the same point rather than to provide specific, varied evidence. To improve, you should: 1. **Develop more diverse ideas**: Instead of focusing solely on video games and laziness, consider other academic or economic reasons, such as the difficulty of science subjects, the high cost of science degrees, or the perceived higher salaries in business or technology fields. 2. **Avoid circular reasoning**: Avoid saying 'students don't study science because they are lazy, and they are lazy because they don't study science.' Instead, explain *how* one leads to the other. 3. **Expand on the 'impact on the community'**: The prompt asks for the impact on the *community*, but the essay focuses almost entirely on the individual student's knowledge level. Discuss how a lack of scientists affects society (e.g., slower medical breakthroughs, technological stagnation, or economic issues). 4. **Improve Cohesion**: Reduce the repetition of phrases like 'spend so many time for playing video games' and 'less educated' to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is repetitive and circular. Many sentences repeat the same idea (e.g., the link between video games and laziness) without adding new depth or logical development. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence builds upon the previous one rather than simply restating the topic sentence. Avoid using 'For example' or 'For instance' to introduce points that are actually just restatements of your own opinion rather than specific, factual evidence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Words like 'lazy', 'pupils', 'ungraduates', and 'playing video games' are used excessively throughout the text. There is also some incorrect word usage, such as 'university grade' instead of 'university level' and 'science themes' instead of 'science subjects'. To improve, try to use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., instead of 'lazy', use 'unmotivated' or 'indolent'; instead of 'pupils', use 'students', 'learners', or 'undergraduates'). Aim for more precise academic collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'spend so many time' should be 'spend so much time'), and sentence structure errors (e.g., 'The students become more lazy... are the main causes' is a fragmented/run-on construction). There are also issues with punctuation and capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, particularly how to use relative clauses (e.g., 'Students who spend too much time...') and ensuring that singular/plural nouns match their corresponding verbs and quantifiers.

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Band 4+: Many students are now refusing to choose science subjects at theiruniversity level. Why do you think this is happening and what is the impact on the community?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Many students are now refusing to choose science subjects at theiruniversity level. Why do you think this is happening and what is the impact on the community?

Many students are now refusing to choose science subjects at theiruniversity level. Why do you think this is happening and what is the impact on the community?

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