Opinion

Band 6+: Many students around the world don't choose science subjects at university. Give the reasons for this and describe the impacts on the community?

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There’s a declining trend in the number of students worldwide who choose science subjects. The main reason behind this is complexity of these subjects and lack of future opportunities they offer. This essay will explore the detailed reason behind this declining phenomenon and its possible effects on the community

In today’s world students less tend to study science subjects as they are considered difficult and demanding from an objective perspective. Arts and business fields became more preferable, because they do not require challenging examinations or experiments that can deter students. In addition, today, science field do not guarantee plenty of job opportunities like law or finance does. Students find it time consuming to stay unemployed after finishing an education and pursuing a degree. Moreover, science related businesses mostly collect specialized personnel, people with higher intelligence and more advanced skills, which overshades students or recent graduates.

This kind of problem can have several negative impacts on the community. First and the main one is the lack of scientists and researchers in a country, as their roles are significant in solving global problems such as climate change or new medical treatments with advanced technology. Furthermore, number of qualified science teachers will drop considerably, which will decrease the quality of education not only in universities but in schools either. Additionally, scientist create awareness about environmental issues and changes to the community and invite them to take necessary steps in order to prevent such problems. Therefore, declining interest to science field can also lead to decrease of people’s attentions toward these cases.

In conclusion, students are becoming less interested to taking science courses because of lack of opportunities for their future career, however this type of action can cause negative development of the community.

Word Count: 290

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 7

students: 6

declining: 3

subjects: 3

opportunities: 3

community: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for declining science subject choices and impacts on the community. A clear position is presented, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and detailed. For example, the reasons given (complexity and lack of opportunities) are valid but could be elaborated with more specific examples or evidence. The impacts are also relevant but could be expanded, particularly the point about science teachers and environmental awareness. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that supporting sentences directly relate to it. Additionally, avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'students less tend to study' and 'overshades students.' Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt adequately, but it lacks the depth and precision expected of a higher band score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are logically organized, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Therefore' helps to link sentences. However, some transitions are abrupt, and the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing (e.g., 'students less tend to study', 'science field do not guarantee'). The paragraphing is adequate, but the second body paragraph could be more focused on the impacts, as it introduces new ideas (e.g., teacher shortage, awareness) without fully developing them. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and use smoother transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'declining trend', 'complexity', 'demanding', 'specialized personnel', 'qualified science teachers', and 'environmental issues'. There is some attempt at sophistication (e.g., 'overshades', 'take necessary steps'). However, there are several lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations (e.g., 'science field do not guarantee', 'stay unemployed after finishing an education', 'decrease of people's attentions'). The word choice is sometimes imprecise (e.g., 'overshades' instead of 'overshadows', 'attentions' instead of 'attention'). To improve, use more precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid direct translation or literal phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. However, there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('science field do not guarantee'), incorrect article usage ('complexity of these subjects' should be 'the complexity'), missing articles ('lack of future opportunities' should be 'a lack of future opportunities'), and incorrect verb forms ('students less tend to study' should be 'students tend to study less'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are run-on sentences and missing commas. To improve, focus on grammar accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Proofreading for these common errors would significantly enhance the score.

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