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Band 5+: Many students around the world don't choose science subjects at university. Give the reasons for this and describe the impacts on the community?

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Nowadays, majority of students tend to learn humanities subjects at university and it influences to science subjects a lot. In this essay, I will give the reasons for not studying these subjects and describe impacts on society.

There are several reasons, why students do not choose science subjects.First, most students believe that studying science subjects is tough and it needs a lot of time. That means individuals think that they may not have enough time for something else. This is the reason for the lack of motivation among university students. Furthermore, most of universities do not have good equipments for lessons. Most people understand information with the help of practice and if there are not any qualified utensils individuals will not study such subjects.

On the other hand, this problem impacts society a lot. The most significant problem that causes not studying science subjects at university is lack of workers in these spheres. Because of the ignoring science subjects, individuals almost do not choose jobs such as engineer, scientist and Lab management. Thus, some spheres remain indeveloped and even cab disappear in future. For example, renewable energy is crucial now and it may not be developed because of the shortage of employees.

To sum up, there are some reasons, why students do not choose studying science subjects such as lack of motivation and equipment, and trend in society about the difficulties of these subjects. However, there are some impacts on society, as lack of employees and undevelopment of some spheres.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 8

science: 6

students: 5

studying: 4

university: 3

reasons: 3

these: 3

impacts: 3

choose: 3

individuals: 3

there: 3

society: 3

spheres: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by providing reasons for the lack of science students and discussing the subsequent impacts on society. A position is clear throughout the response. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the points regarding difficulty and equipment are relevant, they could be expanded with more depth to show a more sophisticated understanding of the issue. The connection between the lack of students and the 'disappearance' of certain spheres is a strong point, but the explanation could be more nuanced. To improve, try to extend your arguments by explaining the 'why' and 'how' in more detail. For instance, instead of just stating that science is tough, you could explain how the rigorous curriculum might lead students to prioritize subjects with perceived higher immediate career rewards. Additionally, ensure that your vocabulary is used precisely; for example, 'utensils' is generally used for kitchenware, whereas 'laboratory equipment' or 'apparatus' would be more appropriate in a scientific context.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both parts of the prompt, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother. Some cohesive devices are used somewhat repetitively (e.g., 'most students', 'most people', 'most of universities'). To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next. The transition between the reasons and the impacts could also be more sophisticated than 'On the other hand', which is typically used for contrasting viewpoints rather than moving to a different aspect of the same problem.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances of imprecise word choices, such as using 'utensils' (which usually refers to kitchen tools) instead of 'equipment' or 'apparatus', and 'cab' instead of 'can'. To reach a higher band, aim to use more academic and precise terminology. For example, instead of 'tough', use 'rigorous' or 'demanding'; instead of 'good equipments', use 'state-of-the-art facilities' or 'adequate laboratory resources'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include article usage (e.g., 'majority of students' should be 'the majority of students'), subject-verb agreement, and incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'influences to science subjects' should be 'influences science subjects'). Additionally, 'equipments' is an uncountable noun and should always be 'equipment'. Focus on mastering article usage and noun countability to improve your accuracy.

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