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Band 7+: Most schools offer some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical education classes be required or optional? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Majority of learning institutions give some kind of physical education lessons to their pupils. This is essential as it is beneficial to their health and social skills. Consequently, in my opinion, health education classes should be made compulsory in schools to motivate kids to participate and to help their physical and mental development.

Some major benefits of physical education are that it helps to develop students physical and mental alertness and it also helps to improve their social skills. This means that when kids are engaged in workouts, they burn calories that could have made them obese. This in turn makes them to become physically fit and mentally focused. Additionally, participating in sports also helps to teach interpersonal abilities such as endurance, tolerance and communicative or friend making skills. For example, starting the day with a short jogging session increases the Dopamine hormone, a feel-happy hormone, by almost 37 percent. Therefore, PE classes are beneficial to youngsters healthy lifestyle in the long run.

I believe that schools should have mandatory physical education lessons so that everyone can participate and benefit. This is because making such classes required help to make more people get involved. Moreover, these sessions can help identify students’ potential at a very young age. For instance, Alexis Mandalovic, a Russian ice skater, was discovered by his class teacher when he was only six years old during a school trip to a skating rink. Later on in his sporting career, he achieved four gold medals in olympics, which made Russia a popular destination to learn professional ice skating. İn other words making PE programs compulsory in schools will not only increase the number of participants, but it will also make pupils discover their hidden talents.

In conclusion, in view of the enormous physiological, social and emotional advantages derivable from PE lessons by pupils, I am of the opinion that making such extracurricular activity obligatory tend to broaden the inclusivity and participation.

Word Count: 323

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

physical: 5

their: 5

education: 4

making: 4

lessons: 3

pupils: 3

social: 3

skills: 3

classes: 3

schools: 3

helps: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt appropriately and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples. However, there is some lack of precision in supporting ideas, and the connection between the examples and the main points could be strengthened. To improve, focus on elaborating further on how the examples directly support your arguments and ensure a consistent level of detail throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'consequently,' 'additionally,' and 'therefore' helps to connect the sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances where the transitions could be smoother, and the connection between ideas could be more explicitly stated. For example, in the second body paragraph, the link between physical activity and social skills could be further elaborated. Also, the example of Alexis Mandalovic, while relevant, could be integrated more seamlessly into the argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using words like 'alertness,' 'interpersonal,' 'endurance,' and 'physiological' appropriately. However, there are some instances where the word choice could be more precise or sophisticated. For example, 'friend making skills' could be replaced with a more formal term like 'socialization skills'. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of nuance and precision. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. There are a few errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('lessons...is beneficial') and awkward phrasing ('making such extracurricular activity obligatory tend to broaden the inclusivity and participation'). While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they do detract from the overall clarity and fluency of the writing. Proofreading carefully to identify and correct these errors would improve the grammatical accuracy of the essay.

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