Opinion

Band 4+: Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimise the bad effects?

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Nowadays many people have computers and large number of kids play different types games on computer. There are many negative impacts on children because of play games on computer but there has some step to minimize these bad effects.

To begin, there are many negative effects to play games on computer. Firstly, children who play computer games become very lazy. For example, children who play games on computer they always leave there important work and study because computer games always available for them and they can download more game everyday that reason all time focus on game. Secondly, computer game cause eye problems and also waste many hours. For example, in computer games are always available playing for free that reason they play more and waste important time.

To overcome, we need to take some step to leave this bad habit of children and gave physical activity. Firstly, parents need don’t give permission to kids play games on computer. For example, we need children play physical game like football, cricket and hockey that’s type games made healthy to our kids and they feel active. Secondly, without computer kids do home work and read there lesson. For example, when kids come in home from school they need to read lesson and gave more time to study if there in home no have computer so children gave more time to study.

In conclusion, computer games gave very negative effects on children life we don’t need gave permission to play games on computer. We need provide physical game for playing our kids.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

computer: 13

games: 11

children: 7

there: 6

example: 4

negative: 3

always: 3

physical: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of computer games on children and suggesting ways to minimize these effects. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and depth. The examples provided are somewhat repetitive and could be more specific. To improve, focus on developing more detailed and varied examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your ideas are clearly articulated and avoid generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always logically connected. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often inaccurate, making it difficult to follow the argument. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better separate and develop distinct ideas. Focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., synonyms, reference words) and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic and supporting details.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, limiting the ability to express ideas precisely. There are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice. To improve, focus on learning synonyms and collocations related to the topic. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and accurately. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect article usage. Sentence structures are simple and often flawed, hindering clear communication. Work on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing different types of sentences (e.g., compound, complex) to improve grammatical range.

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