Multi Part

Band 6+: Nowadays, people spend a great deal of time sitting, which can lead to health problems. Why does this happen? What are the best ways to encourage people to sit less?

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

A sedentary lifestyle is becoming increasingly popular among people nowadays,unfortunately,this type of behavior precipitates health problems.The primary cause of this tendency might be the obligation to work in the offices for the whole day and not choosing to actively spend free time afterwards.The most beneficial approach to this conundrum is to cultivate sporty lifestyle through social media influencers and simply make people aware of the detrimental consequences of this behavior.

To begin with,most people are currently working in offices,sitting behind their computers all day long.Blue-collar workers often feel exhausted after a long working day,so they choose to lie on the sofa and watch TV instead of working out or taking a walk,which only exacerbates the situation .Additionally, the development of various vehicles is fraught with risks,since individuals started using them in order to get to any location they need to,so these last chances to be active through taking short walks disappear.

There is no denying that sitting too much might be a precursor to numerous health issues and bad state of mind.So ,it is of paramount importance for individuals and governments to mitigate these problems.Firstly,social media is a key component to influence people habits .To be more specific,influencers can promote healthy lifestyle or doing sports and show people that it is actually entertaining and enjoyable.Secondly,most of people are just uninformed about the concerning outcomes of a sedentary lifestyle.If people are aware of the fact that inactivity is undermining their health significantly,they will be determined to make a change and prioritize their well-being .

In conclusion,while sedentary lifestyle is a major concern nowadays,we are able to deal with it as a society.Thus,social awareness and beneficial influence might become catalyst for change on our current paradigm.

Word Count: 284

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

lifestyle: 4

sedentary: 3

health: 3

might: 3

working: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt. You have identified causes (office work, lack of active leisure, and vehicle dependency) and suggested solutions (social media influence and awareness campaigns). A clear position is maintained throughout the response. To improve and reach a higher band, you should aim for more depth in your development. For instance, when discussing the role of governments, you could suggest specific policies (like urban planning for walking or workplace regulations) rather than focusing solely on social media. Additionally, ensure that your supporting ideas are more precisely linked to the solutions provided; for example, the mention of 'blue-collar workers' in the first body paragraph is slightly confusing, as the context of the paragraph is office-based work (white-collar). Refining the precision of your examples will strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both parts of the prompt, and a conclusion. However, there are some issues with punctuation and sentence connectivity. For instance, the first sentence contains a comma splice ('...nowadays,unfortunately...'), which disrupts the flow. To improve, ensure that independent clauses are separated by full stops or appropriate conjunctions. Additionally, while the progression of ideas is clear, using a wider variety of cohesive devices beyond 'To begin with' and 'Secondly' would help the transitions feel more natural and less mechanical.

Lexical Resource

You have used some sophisticated vocabulary and collocations, such as 'precipitates health problems,' 'detrimental consequences,' 'paramount importance,' and 'undermining their health.' These demonstrate a good range. To reach a higher band, aim for even greater precision and avoid minor awkward phrasings like 'cultivate sporty lifestyle' (should be 'a sporty lifestyle') or 'most of people' (should be 'most people'). Using more varied academic synonyms for common words like 'bad' or 'change' would also enhance the lexical sophistication.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent errors in punctuation - specifically the lack of spaces after commas and full stops - which affects the professional presentation of the text. There are also some grammatical slips regarding articles (e.g., 'promote healthy lifestyle' instead of 'promote a healthy lifestyle') and subject-verb agreement/phrasing. Focus on mastering the use of articles (a, an, the) and ensuring that punctuation is used correctly to separate distinct thoughts, as this will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

many citizens who accumulate massive wealth are more successful. However, others claim that people who are benefactors, such as scientists and educators, achieve a higher form of success.

Evidence suggests that many citizens who accumulate massive wealth are more successful. However, others claim that people who are benefactors, such as scientists and educators, achieve a higher form of success. I am in favor of the latter notion since these kinds of professions are very valuable to the whole community. Firstly, some individuals who […]

Band 8+

now fast food is really popluar.What is the cause? How it can affect people?

Nowadays,fast food is becoming more prevalent among people. Nobody would dispute the fact that the main cause for this trend is the fast-paced schedule and consuming too much junk food can cause health issues and mental problems. To begin with,one of the main reasons for popularity of fast food is people’s busy schedules in daily […]

Band 6+

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and give your own opinion?

The age gap between parents and children in this day and age is considerbly high compared to the previous years. While this change offers several pros like good family planning and promotes good mental health it also presents certain drawbacks like financial issues and health complications/risks .This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages […]

Band 5+

in the past scientific research was usually carried out by government department but nowadays private companies are coducting a greater percentage of this type of research . what are the adventage and disadventage of this trend

Today private companies initiate to increase their influence to scientific research than government departments which have carried out this trend before. There is many debates about to rich advantage or disadvantage from this approach of private companies.I have balanced view to this trend . Private found research has better opportunity to directly make notes from […]

Band 4+

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a family run business?

In recent years, many people have chosen to work with their family members, and this situation has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss both sides with several reasons. On the one hand, the first benefit of a family run business is a flexible working environment. Since family members already know and […]

Band 7+

See All

Band 6+: Nowadays, people spend a great deal of time sitting, which can lead to health problems. Why does this happen? What are the best ways to encourage people to sit less?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

many citizens who accumulate massive wealth are more successful. However, others claim that people who are benefactors, such as scientists and educators, achieve a higher form of success.

now fast food is really popluar.What is the cause? How it can affect people?

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and give your own opinion?

in the past scientific research was usually carried out by government department but nowadays private companies are coducting a greater percentage of this type of research . what are the adventage and disadventage of this trend

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a family run business?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

Plans & Pricing

Free

Premium