Opinion

Band 4+: Problems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems. What are the reasons and solutions?

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Indeed, a fair sectoin of society reckons that enviromental pollution is becoming serious problem in various countries in this eassy intends to analyse the causes of enviromental pollution towards many countries and provide the solutions in looming paragraph.

To embark on, there are plethora of reasons to campare on showcase viewpoint. First and foremost, nowadays one of the main cause of air pollution is traffic (carbon emisson) public transport and others vehicle life 10 to 15 year but over 15 year vehicle are used in some countries. Moreover, fertilizers excess ( soil pollution) in this mordern world high rate farming based on chemicals because to incearese in production. Furthermore, noise pollution is caused by high sound of music or deforestation it is due to by industrilization it creates the air pollution by cutting trees and industriail sector we can the ragular wastage are caused of air pollution.

Moving ahead, there are some solutions to protect the enviroment throw pollution. Prime one, If transport life is over 10 year government should discontined the vechle and use public transport to travell or buy e vechle to safe enviroment. Apart form it, do organic farming to save the fertilite of soil. In addition, reduce the wastage by recyle/correct dum ground.

In conclusion, the primary causes of traffic congestion are the growing urban population and the heavy reliance on private vehicles. Nevertheless, this issue can be effectively addressed by improving public transportation and implementing congestion pricing.

Word Count: 242

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

pollution: 6

countries: 3

public: 3

transport: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying some causes (traffic, fertilizers, industrialization) and some solutions (electric vehicles, organic farming, recycling). However, the development of these ideas is minimal and often lacks clarity due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. A significant issue is the conclusion, which discusses 'traffic congestion' and 'congestion pricing' - topics that were not the main focus of the essay - making the conclusion irrelevant to the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports the main topic. Focus on developing each point with more detail (e.g., explaining *how* organic farming helps the soil). Most importantly, ensure the conclusion summarizes the actual points made in the essay rather than introducing new, unrelated ideas. Working on sentence structure and basic grammar will also help in making the ideas more coherent and easier to follow. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression is hindered by significant phrasing issues. The introduction contains a run-on sentence that attempts to combine the background and the thesis statement awkwardly. While you use transition signals like 'To embark on', 'First and foremost', and 'Moving ahead', they often feel forced or are used incorrectly. To improve, focus on ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence and that the connection between sentences is smooth rather than abrupt. Additionally, ensure the conclusion relates back to the main body; currently, your conclusion discusses 'traffic congestion' specifically, which deviates from the broader topic of environmental pollution discussed earlier.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use academic vocabulary (e.g., 'plethora', 'embark on', 'industrialization'), but many words are used incorrectly or misspelled (e.g., 'sectoin', 'eassy', 'mordern', 'vechle', 'dum ground'). Some word combinations are unnatural, such as 'campare on showcase viewpoint' or 'protect the enviroment throw pollution'. To improve, focus on accuracy over complexity. It is better to use common words correctly than to use sophisticated words in the wrong context. Work on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) to make your writing sound more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure (many fragments and run-on sentences), and word forms. For example, 'one of the main cause' should be 'one of the main causes', and 'we can the ragular wastage are caused of air pollution' is grammatically incomplete. To improve, practice building simple, correct sentences before attempting complex structures. Pay close attention to sentence boundaries (using periods to separate distinct ideas) and ensure every sentence has a clear subject and a verb.

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