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Band 7+: Scientist believe that computers will more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Nowadays, computers are becoming more advanced and can perform many tasks that were previously done only by humans. While some people believe that computers becoming more intelligent than humans would be a positive development, others are concerned about its possible negative effects. I believe that this could be beneficial in many areas, but it should be carefully controlled.

It is widely believed that more intelligent computer could have many benefits for society. One compelling reason supporting this view is that computers can access large amount of information quickly and help people solve difficult problems. As a result, they could improve areas such as healthcare, education and scientific research. For example, advanced computer systems could help doctors identify diseases more quickly or help scientists find solutions to serious problems. Unlike in the past, when computers could perform only simple tasks, modern technology can now complete many complex activities. If greater attention were placed computer become more intelligent, more scientists would be able to access these transformative opportunities.

On the other hand, there are concerns that highly intelligent computers could create serious problems for society. One major concern is that computers may replace people in many jobs because they could perform tasks faster and more cheaply. As a result, some workers could lose their jobs and find it difficult to compete with machines. For example, companies may use intelligent computer systems instead of employees for customer service, office work or other tasks. In addition, people may become too dependent on computers and lose some important skills. If intelligent computers were not properly controlled, they could create problems that would be difficult for humans to manage.

In conclusion, although computers becoming more intelligent than humans could lead to job losses and greater dependence on technology, I believe that it can be a positive development if it is properly controlled. Intelligent computers could improve healthcare, education and scientific research, but governments and companies should make sure that they are used safely and responsibly.

Word Count: 329

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

could: 11

computers: 10

intelligent: 8

tasks: 4

humans: 4

people: 4

computer: 4

problems: 4

becoming: 3

perform: 3

believe: 3

would: 3

difficult: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of computers becoming more intelligent than humans, and it clearly presents the writer's opinion. The position is well-developed with relevant ideas and examples. There are minor lapses in precision (e.g., 'If greater attention were placed computer become more intelligent' is awkwardly phrased) and some ideas could be more fully extended, but overall the response is strong and coherent. To improve, ensure grammatical accuracy and refine the expression of ideas for greater clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow. Cohesive devices are used effectively, though a few transitions could be more varied. Paragraphing is managed well, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. To improve, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated choices (e.g., 'transformative opportunities', 'properly controlled'). The language is generally natural and appropriate for the task. There are a few minor inaccuracies, such as 'more intelligent computer' (should be 'computers') and 'large amount of information' (should be 'large amounts of information'), but these do not impede understanding. To achieve a higher score, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary, and ensure consistent use of plural forms. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms. There are only minor errors, such as 'If greater attention were placed computer become more intelligent' (should be 'If greater attention were placed on computers becoming more intelligent'), which slightly affect clarity. Overall, grammar and punctuation are used appropriately, and the essay is easy to read. To improve, focus on eliminating these small errors and using more varied sentence structures.

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