Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Some countries are experiencing a decline in traditional arts and crafts due to the popularity of mass-produced goods. Do the advantages of mass production outweigh the disadvantages of losing traditional skills and products?

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Nowadays, several countries want to try something new and enter into it as much as possible for experience. This means traditional arts and crafts are no exception. There are some disadvantages and advantages at the same time.

If we talk about benefits, buying traditional arts and crafts will cost less, which for citizens means a good income opportunity. As we remember, popular desighners job is always expensive and hard to buy, especially traditional arts. For instanse, in Kazakhstan traditional products price is higher than international product. The one of the essential reason is kazakh culture and patriotizm. The good will show the mindset, tradition, history, and it is priceless for people who see the product as an work of tenptation.

On the other hand, making cheap products is not a solution. If the work is interesting and the demand is rising, clients will organize an auction. Moreover, many people prefer traditional works as a present or just for decor, no matter how much it costs.

In conclusion, I want to say that in this situation the drawbacks are more significant than the benefits. For individuals and the government, it requires more investment.

Word Count: 192

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

traditional: 5

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Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind your claims. Focus on developing each point more fully to strengthen your argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction is very general and doesn't clearly state the essay's position. Transitions between paragraphs are weak, making it difficult to follow the argument. The conclusion is abrupt and doesn't effectively summarize the main points. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction and a more comprehensive summary in the conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and lacks precision. There is some repetition of words and phrases, and the language is not always appropriate for an academic essay. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language. Explore synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more effectively. Pay attention to the register and ensure it is consistently formal. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede clarity and affect the overall quality of the writing. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using a grammar checker to identify areas for improvement. Practice writing different types of sentences to expand your grammatical range.

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