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Band 5+: Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

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some parent their children to buy whatever they want . it often that it is not good way to raise their childen and parent should gave their children love and support, but aslo set reasonable rules and teach them responsibility .

first , children who always get what they want may become spoiled and selfies. they may not understand the value of money or the importance of working hard. for exanple if parent buy expensive toys every time their children ask for then, the children may started to believe that they can get anything want without making any effort. they may also find it difficult to accept rules or listen to other people.

second, this parenting style can create problem when children become adults. they may have diffulties dealing with failure, critism and disappointment. at school or at work , they will have to follow rules and accept that they cannot always get what they want. if they are not used to this form childhood , they may struggle to become responsible and independent, they may also depend to much on their parent.

in conclusion, giving children everythings they wants and allowing them complete freedom is not the best way to raise them. parent should gave their children love and support, but they should also set reasonable rules and teach them responsibility. this can help children become mature and independent adults. parent teach the children to not spend money on unuseals thing while buying knowledge book get some better education.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 10

their: 6

parent: 5

rules: 4

become: 4

should: 3

teach: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a clear position that this parenting style is not good and discussing consequences. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The first paragraph introduces the position but could be more clearly linked to the prompt. The examples are relevant but not fully extended. There are also some lapses in clarity and expression. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, develop ideas with more specific examples or explanations, and proofread for grammatical accuracy and word choice.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical order, and the use of linking words like 'first' and 'second' helps guide the reader. However, the flow is disrupted by frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which sometimes make the message hard to follow. The conclusion partially repeats the introduction and introduces a new idea at the end, which slightly weakens the overall coherence. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the conclusion summarizes the main points without adding new information.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'spoiled', 'selfish', 'responsibility', 'independent', and 'mature'. There is an attempt to use more sophisticated words like 'disappointment' and 'criticism'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'selfies' instead of 'selfish', 'diffulties' instead of 'difficulties', 'critism' instead of 'criticism') and some awkward word choices (e.g., 'depend to much' instead of 'depend too much', 'unuseals thing' instead of 'unnecessary things'). These errors reduce the clarity and precision of the vocabulary. To improve, focus on spelling and choose words that fit the context more naturally. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect accuracy and clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('parent buy' instead of 'parents buy'), incorrect verb forms ('may started' instead of 'may start'), missing articles ('not good way' instead of 'not a good way'), and incorrect prepositions ('depend to much' instead of 'depend too much'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and periods. These errors make the essay difficult to read and understand. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing with correct verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, and proofread carefully to correct punctuation and spelling.

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Band 5+: Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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