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Band 4+: Some people argue that success is determined by hard work, while others believe it is influenced by luck. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion.

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Many people argue that prosperity require hard work,whilw others strongly believe that fate plays a vital role.In this essay both side will be discuss with my opinion.

Firstly, consistency is the key of success beacuse without pay efforts no one will gotten reward. In addition, build a success career in corporate or business sector is not easy without hard work. However, there was enormous number of day someone have did to study, research or made assignment for got a corporate job.On the others side,management of fund, convinced client, increased production were not easy route to established a business.It’s took many night or day.As a results after going thorough so much pressure someone achieve their destination.

Secondly, there are a tiny number of people who get success by fortune.Moreover, whom were came from a established background family only luck favour them.Therefore they has legacy and usually they got settle life by inheritance. Consequently, they does not need to put hard work as much they already got the fate.

I strongly believe that, hard work always provide award rest of luck.If anyone constantly work for ambitions oneday it will be achieved. Instead luck will favour rarely to someone.

In conclusion, hard work better than waiting for luck.Dream comes true by take action not by believe on fate.i

Word Count: 215

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

believe: 3

success: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always logically connected, and the flow is often disrupted by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be more effective in grouping related ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. Some words are used repetitively, and there is a lack of sophistication in lexical control. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language to convey your ideas. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction to enhance accuracy.

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